When I've been a bridesmaid... well, it's generally been when I lived far away, so I wasn't around for much run-up or organizational duties or, say, money. But generally, I think the function is to be there to assist with all the various and assorted stuff -- helping the bride get dressed, running out to pick up one of the bridesmaid dresses at the dry cleaners because coffee got spilled on it, picking up the programs/table things, all that stuff. None of which should cost you money unless you say, "You know what, I've got it, don't worry about it." Other than maybe gas money. Sewing your own skirts? Doesn't fall under that umbrella. That's a pointless thing the bride thought would be cute without consulting the people who'd actually have to do it. Nuh-uh. I can understand the multiple showers, but any one person (other than the bride) should only have to go to/deal with one of them. And a shower that involves high guest costs is, as we all pointed out to Aimee a little while ago, TREMENDOUSLY RUDE and inappropriate.
So no, you're right. That's of the crazy.
Now please, make me go to work!
you have to keep the craxy to yourself
I'm a big proponent of not flashing insanity, but I got nothing against sharing stress with friends.
First wedding didn't give me any gift -- the second gave me a silver-plated makeup brush set, which didn't get opened for 5 years.
I was just as glad to not get a gift other than the hair and makeup professionally done -- I never would have paid for that myself, and it looked great.
The %&(@*$ games. I have a cordial loathing for enforced 'fun' and anything designed to embarrass the GoH.
Word. Word word word. Out of curiosity, Anne, have you ever done the 4MAT learning styles test?
I've gotten quite nice bridesmaid gifts, as well - a nice necklace in one case, a little backpack and -- wait for it -- martini shaker! in another.
I think the most stressful parts of being the MoH turned out to be talking the bride down after a fight because the groom's friends took him out and got stinking drunk the night before the wedding and he fell asleep on the front lawn and dealing with the groom getting shirty with me when I made him wear a seatbelt and THEN I wouldn't let him smoke pot in the rental car (!)
I have issues with the groom still.
Not only did I never have a bridal shower, I've never been to one. I did go to a "couple's shower" for the COO at DH's company (the same guy who is under investigation now!) and his wife when she was his fiance. I bought the gift that we gave jointly with another couple, they got the thank you note. Not a great experience.
THis is me trying to let go of the lingering suspicion that I treated my bridesmaids badly. It was over a year ago, they're all still speaking to me, I'm letting it go.
The most important thing I did as chief bridesmaid was to get violently sick the night before the wedding. It transported the bride into an uncanny calm a few hours ahead of schedule.
The FAC brides whose weddings I was in (3 or 4; I can't remember any more) gave crap bridesmaids gifts. I went shopping with one bride for the gifts, which were really ugly $10 rhinestone earrings from Claire's that we were expected to wear with the dresses.
Another bride made earrings from plastic beads -- and we were expected to wear them, too. And that was the extent of our gifts. That's the same bride who wrote these long, meaningful letters of appreciation to all of her bridesmaids EXCEPT me, who was her roommate at the time.
I really dislike those people.
Out of curiosity, Anne, have you ever done the 4MAT learning styles test?
No, I haven't. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure I've heard about it (but my brain today is a big pile o' undercaffeinated sludge.)
