Not only did I never have a bridal shower, I've never been to one. I did go to a "couple's shower" for the COO at DH's company (the same guy who is under investigation now!) and his wife when she was his fiance. I bought the gift that we gave jointly with another couple, they got the thank you note. Not a great experience.

THis is me trying to let go of the lingering suspicion that I treated my bridesmaids badly. It was over a year ago, they're all still speaking to me, I'm letting it go.

The most important thing I did as chief bridesmaid was to get violently sick the night before the wedding. It transported the bride into an uncanny calm a few hours ahead of schedule.

The FAC brides whose weddings I was in (3 or 4; I can't remember any more) gave crap bridesmaids gifts. I went shopping with one bride for the gifts, which were really ugly $10 rhinestone earrings from Claire's that we were expected to wear with the dresses.

Another bride made earrings from plastic beads -- and we were expected to wear them, too. And that was the extent of our gifts. That's the same bride who wrote these long, meaningful letters of appreciation to all of her bridesmaids EXCEPT me, who was her roommate at the time.

I really dislike those people.

Out of curiosity, Anne, have you ever done the 4MAT learning styles test?

No, I haven't. To be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure I've heard about it (but my brain today is a big pile o' undercaffeinated sludge.)

Best friend (the one with the best wedding I'd ever been to) gave her bridesmaids Levenger goodie bags.

I gave U2 tickets to my best man and his wife (that I stood in line for two days to get). I don't remember what I gave my buddy who was the usher. His wife, the minister, we gave an antique hurricane lamp. I wasn't as involved in the decision-making on that last, as the first.

This morning while I was telling Leif to put on his underwear (we're in the middle of potty training), he responded with "Ok, Babycake". I'm not sure why he called me "Babycake".

I'm not sure why he called me "Babycake".

Has he been sneaking Angel reruns? Sounds a bit Hosty.

Anyone else remember when bridal and baby showers were iced tea and munchies on someone's porch and the women in your family got you dishtowels or onesies respectively?

Totally. Most of the showers I've been to have been basically a lot like a tea party. This is why multiples seem natural to me - you might have one that's mostly the old ladies who were your grandmother's close friends or something, and maybe a different one for relatives or the groom or for people who are your own contemporaries, etc. And appropriate gifts tend to be along the lines of kitchen gadgets or notepaper, unless there a specific theme involved. But still, nothing that would be a big deal for anyone to buy, or make them feel like they're on the hook for two wedding presents.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure I've heard about it (but my brain today is a big pile o' undercaffeinated sludge.)

It's just a learning styles test, rather like the millions of personality tests we've all taken and loved. It's just that for one of the styles, in addition to the likes (facts, details, knowing what's next) there were the dislikes, which included "role-playing" (causing me to do a silent "AMEN!"). Not that roleplaying in education has the same "ooh, let's embarrass someone!" goal of those sorts of games, but to me it's got the same "pointless time-wasting pretend-we're-having-fun" feel to it.