You bought a house? Cool!

Well, a condo actually, but since it’s in the city, it costs as much as a house.

Party at Steph's in - what, February?

Yes, at the big hole in the ground! :) It’s being built, so I won’t move in until late 2006 (or more likely, early 2007)

Has this bride always been like this, or is it just the wedding-planning that's making everything all craxy?

The sad thing is that the bride is not trying to be a bridezilla at all. She honestly believes that it is easier/cheaper to make the skirts (she doesn’t understand how people can’t sew, but then I don’t understand how people cant’ cook, so I kind of get it). She doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not inviting anyone to the shower, so her solution was to invite everyone. She didn’t want to hurt the other friend’s feelings who wanted to throw her a shower (though why she couldn’t have just said ‘oh, my bridesmaids are throwing a shower, but thanks”, I don’t know). I’m sure that in her mind, the “bachelorette party” is the one thing that _she_ wants to do, and is what the shower should be.

Okay, and now Jess. Clearly Buffista weddings are superior.

Well, DUH. :)

Apparently, some of her proper relatives were horrified that I didn't throw a shower

I didn’t do one for my best friend, either, because she looked at me and said “I love you, but I can’t deal with one. More. Thing right now.” So, I said cool. In retrospect, I should have sent out an email saying “I’m not throwing her anything because she doesn’t want one”, because her SIL ended up doing this “luncheon” because “no one else was doing anything”.

When I've been a bridesmaid... well, it's generally been when I lived far away, so I wasn't around for much run-up or organizational duties or, say, money. But generally, I think the function is to be there to assist with all the various and assorted stuff -- helping the bride get dressed, running out to pick up one of the bridesmaid dresses at the dry cleaners because coffee got spilled on it, picking up the programs/table things, all that stuff. None of which should cost you money unless you say, "You know what, I've got it, don't worry about it." Other than maybe gas money. Sewing your own skirts? Doesn't fall under that umbrella. That's a pointless thing the bride thought would be cute without consulting the people who'd actually have to do it. Nuh-uh. I can understand the multiple showers, but any one person (other than the bride) should only have to go to/deal with one of them. And a shower that involves high guest costs is, as we all pointed out to Aimee a little while ago, TREMENDOUSLY RUDE and inappropriate.

So no, you're right. That's of the crazy.

Now please, make me go to work!

you have to keep the craxy to yourself

I'm a big proponent of not flashing insanity, but I got nothing against sharing stress with friends.

First wedding didn't give me any gift -- the second gave me a silver-plated makeup brush set, which didn't get opened for 5 years.

I was just as glad to not get a gift other than the hair and makeup professionally done -- I never would have paid for that myself, and it looked great.

The %&(@*$ games. I have a cordial loathing for enforced 'fun' and anything designed to embarrass the GoH.

Word. Word word word. Out of curiosity, Anne, have you ever done the 4MAT learning styles test?

I've gotten quite nice bridesmaid gifts, as well - a nice necklace in one case, a little backpack and -- wait for it -- martini shaker! in another.

I think the most stressful parts of being the MoH turned out to be talking the bride down after a fight because the groom's friends took him out and got stinking drunk the night before the wedding and he fell asleep on the front lawn and dealing with the groom getting shirty with me when I made him wear a seatbelt and THEN I wouldn't let him smoke pot in the rental car (!)

I have issues with the groom still.

Not only did I never have a bridal shower, I've never been to one. I did go to a "couple's shower" for the COO at DH's company (the same guy who is under investigation now!) and his wife when she was his fiance. I bought the gift that we gave jointly with another couple, they got the thank you note. Not a great experience.

THis is me trying to let go of the lingering suspicion that I treated my bridesmaids badly. It was over a year ago, they're all still speaking to me, I'm letting it go.

The most important thing I did as chief bridesmaid was to get violently sick the night before the wedding. It transported the bride into an uncanny calm a few hours ahead of schedule.

The FAC brides whose weddings I was in (3 or 4; I can't remember any more) gave crap bridesmaids gifts. I went shopping with one bride for the gifts, which were really ugly $10 rhinestone earrings from Claire's that we were expected to wear with the dresses.

Another bride made earrings from plastic beads -- and we were expected to wear them, too. And that was the extent of our gifts. That's the same bride who wrote these long, meaningful letters of appreciation to all of her bridesmaids EXCEPT me, who was her roommate at the time.

I really dislike those people.