Sumi, are you getting PT from Pat Rafter? Good on you.

Hee.

You guys sure were talky today. I've skipped completely.

Had my ultrasound today and the wee bean has a heartbeat. Everything looks good but I was off on the due date. That's now February 11.

DH and I are going out tonight to celebrate our 11th anniversary (which is today). Damn, that's a long time to be married.

Congratulations on 11 years! And on a healthy heartbeat for the bean.

That's now February 11.

GO FEBRUARY 12!!

YAY HEARTBEAT!!

"You know, instead of eating food out of cans all the time, why don't you get married now, so your wife can make you fresh meals?"

"Why don't you just hire a cook?"

"How can you hire a cook, you don't have a job. Just get married, and your wife can take care of you, and you won't have to worry, and I won't have to worry."

"Your worrying about me is nothing I can do anything about."

"I will worry about you until you're settled down. That is what mothers do."

It should be noted that this conversation took place after the three thousandth time my mom pushed me to get a Ph.D.

"I will worry about you until you're settled down. That is what mothers do."

That, my boy, is not unique to Indian mothers of eligible bachelors. My mom has said the same thing -- verbatim -- to me. Often.

"Why don't you just hire a cook?"

Don't even say this. Just change the subject completely:

"Why don't you get married now, so your wife can make you fresh meals?"

"Yes, I have gotten some interesting responses to my resume, and two possible employers are looking at my writing samples right now!"

"But why don't you get married?"

"I haven't had time to watch much TV lately, so I haven't seen the news in a while, sorry."

"But what about you getting married?"

"Mom, I love you and I am sharing as much of what's going on in my life with you as I can. But I've told you I'm not comfortable talking about getting married anytime in the near future. I can't stop you from bringing it up, other than to ask you as a mom who loves her son to please do this to make him happy, but if you do bring it up I won't answer you. I will tell you when I'm ready to talk about it. Until then, I will ALWAYS change the subject."

And keep it up, ad infinitem. Talk about the weather, the last comic book you read, something cute your little sister said, a funny squirrel you saw trying to carry a sock up a tree the other day, anything. You can't keep her from asking, but you can't respond without getting another response from her, and that's what makes you crazy and wounded and hurt and angry. So just don't.

{{P-C}}

I'll give that a try, JZ, thanks. The problem is getting her to recognize that I'm not going to engage without having to directly respond to a query about why not, because at that point, I am likely to lose all ability to form coherent words, and neither of us will say anything for about thirty seconds, and then she'll hang up on me.

You know, the problem is that she doesn't fucking care what I don't want to hear. Because every time she does this, she prefaces it with an "I know you'll just say, 'Unnngh'" or "I know you don't want to hear this, but." I can't escape it. At least the Ph.D. thing. The marriage thing she's just been slipping in every fucking chance she gets like it's some sort of funny joke.