Oh dear dawg, American Dad did MPREG tonight.

It was zoo day. today we fed hippos by throwing apples and cabbages into thier mouths. hippos have really big mouths. even the baby ( not quite a toddler yet) was really impressed when the hippo opened her mouth.

Oh dear dawg, American Dad did MPREG tonight.

...and "Kissing gets you pregnant." A trope and a myth in one.

OK, in complete panic mode here.

The county sent me this form several weeks ago, something about personal property assessment for small businesses. I skimmed it, thought "this looks pretty simple," and stuck it in the bill drawer to deal with later.

I pulled it out tonight. It's due tomorrow. It's not simple at all. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, nor how to list all the info they want on the personal property I use in my business, given that practically all of it is stuff I've owned for years, didn't originally intend to use in a business, and therefore didn't save any paperwork showing what it originally cost.

This means I'm fucked, doesn't it? And I totally deserve it because I should've paid more attention and handled this before I went to Alabama. They're going to assess some penalty for missing the deadline that I can't afford, because I'm completely fucking broke, or they're going to audit me and it's going to cause some kind of disaster and bankruptcy and I'll never be ahead financially ever again all because I'm too much of an airhead to read a fucking form properly and realize there's more to it than "check here, sign here, mail in."

Oh dear dawg, American Dad did MPREG tonight.

For a second I read that as American Chopper and got really, really, frightened.

Susan, before panicking call them.

First of all quite often penalties are note even enforced if you are less than five days late.

Secondly, government offices are sometimes suprisingly understand about missed dealines if you call them before the deadline expires. Even if their normal practice would be to charge a penalty, they may well be willing to waive the penalty if you promise to get it in by the end of the week. This varies a lot from munipality to municipality; call, ask and find out what your situation really is. It may not be anything like as bad as you fear.

OK, I took enough deep breaths to look worried instead of about to explode, showed the form to DH, and said, "Huh?" He looked at the form, looked at the website, and thinks he figured it out. I don't know how he did it, and I feel all stupid chick over it (you know, like a girl who can't think for herself and had to get help from a man), but at least I'll have filled the damn thing out to the best of my understanding and got it in the mail tomorrow, and if it's wrong it'll be an honest mistake.

I don't know how he did it, and I feel all stupid chick over it (you know, like a girl who can't think for herself and had to get help from a man), but at least I'll have filled the damn thing out to the best of my understanding and got it in the mail tomorrow, and if it's wrong it'll be an honest mistake.

Aww. Don't feel that way. Sometimes we're just too close to the thing that's freaking us out to think about it clearly. One of the best things about being married is the extra, fresh brain.

Thanks, Heather. It's weird, though. For some reason stuff like this gives me the exact same reaction I have to mechanical schematics. While I'm not mechanically inclined, I can change a toner cartridge, hook up a computer, work DH's fancy new camera, etc. as well as the next person if you demonstrate it to me while telling me what you're doing and why, then let me do it right away. But I can't read the diagrams and schematics that are the standard way of documenting that sort of thing. They might as well be written in Sanskrit--my eyes glaze over, and if it's something I need to know, I panic. This form somehow had the same effect on me, despite not having a schematic in sight.

I'm right there with you. Financial aid forms for college freaked my shit right out. So much pressure to get everything exactly right. It doesn't help that on every page is a "If you answer this worksheet wrong or fail to report any income, not only will you not get any money, but you will never ever ever be allowed into college. We mean it, not even the ones that advertise on late night tv."- I'm paraphrasing of course.