Hi everyone. I really haven't been able to spend that much time on the board over the last few months, so I thought I should provide an update, and of course I decide to do so when the F2F is kicking off. Marvel at my sense of timing!

Um. In a nutshell, I'm happier than I've been in over two years. I feel better about myself than I have in six. This is not at all where I expected to be after six months.

At this point I need to mention that Melbourne has peregrine falcons. And I work on the 34th floor of my building, with a view overlooking the city. I've seen them a few times, spinning lazily on thermals, and once I think I caught one pulling out of a stoop. I like this in an office.

Not sure where to start with things. I've had some pretty black times over the past few months, all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But about six weeks ago, things started to brighten, and they've been improving since. I've found a psychiatrist here, though to be honest it doesn't feel so urgent now. I'm still in touch with the therapist in Philly too. We've started doing some cognitive behavioural therapy work. VW, if you're around, I was reading through some archived threads, and it's a book that you covered too, Feeling Good by David Burns. It's kind of fun. Oh, and my therapist is telling me that an advantage of starting Pilates is that I could meet women there.

Not that I'm ready to start dating again. I want to get my single life sorted and ensure I'm comfortable in my current circumstances before I go looking to change anything. I have, however, signed up to some speed dating services, for when I am ready. They keep sending me emails titled "Girls Sold Out!" I had no idea it was that kind of service. Then I start imagining a room of women wearing stickers anouncing "Closing Down Sale" or "Everything Must Go!". When I get to "Children get in for free" I realize this may be counterproductive. In any case. Not ready to start dating yet. Not while keeping a straight face, anyway.

I've been in touch with Bec. We've somehow managed to negotiate matters into a friendly correspondence. To be honest she sounds like she's struggling more than I am right now, her work's very demanding right now. She tells me she's so proud of how I'm adjusting, she thinks I'm amazing to be able to cope with all I've been through. So that's nice. There are some things I'm especially proud of, with my mother's eulogy heading the list. I know she would have been proud too.

No new family dramas. There's a warrant out on my older brother, but it's nothing new. D was in Melbourne last weekend, he seemed a lot better than he's been in some time. My nephew is apparently scooching around merrily as a quadruped, and now standing with the aid of furniture. I'll be seeing him in about three weeks when I visit Canberra next.

I've been to a couple of trivia nights too, one with my younger brother and his girlfriend, the other with my youngest brother. The former is a pub trivia night, and we won (go us!). The other was organised by Melbourne Uni postgrads, and was of a significantly higher standard. And we still won, because we rock. There was one question that, out of the entire room, only my brother and I worked out: two men and two women want to have sex in all four possible heterosexual combinations. However, it has to be safe sex, and they only have two condoms. How can they do so? (The people running the night even brought a banana in case they needed to demonstrate.) They also asked who the governor of California was that got replaced by Schwarzenegger. I could've done with more US questions.

Apartment living is good, very pleasant. My brother makes great company. We watched a biography of Mary Shelley the other night, which provoked the following exchange:

( continues...) >Monster: [harshly] "I demand a female creature as hideous as myself! We shall live apart from civilisation with no one to disturb us. Our lives will not be happy, but they shall be harmless."
Brendan: "Now I want to put that in a dating video."

So, y'know, quality company. It works out well, barring the occasional Frasier/Niles comparisons. And it means I have someone to play Ticket to Ride with. Once my dining table is (finally) delivered, we're going to have people around for games nights. This is a social occasion I can cope with very well, usually, so I've actually planned for the eventuality. Brendan already has some interested parties lined up.

On which note, I've taken steps to ensure I have a social life to get me out of the house occasionally. First, there's family and friends. My two younger brothers live in Melbourne (one with me, as noted), so I get together with them sometimes. Plus, occasional trips back to Canberra. Second, I've been playing a lot of D&D. There are some good people around (and some that I find rather hard to deal with at times). I'm rather proud of my characters, and apparently I'm getting something of a reputation. Finally, I've rejoined the Toastmasters club I attended when I lived here before. This is especailly good for me, I think. I work in a highly qualified profession, and so the people I meet through work tend to be rather rarefied, shall we say. That's fine, but after a while it gets stifling. At Toastmasters, I get together with a much broader cross-section of people. I feel it helps keep me grounded. I don't want to be in a situation where I feel like "You must be this qualified to ride this attraction". When I was in the FAC, it provided that service; then, being married to Bec did that (she's very down-to-earth; though sadly, I took that for granted when things started turning bad for us.) Plus, I rock at public speaking, so TM is good for personal validation too.

Just being back in Oz, too, feeds my soul. Everything about it just says "Ahhhhhh". Bright, clear, sun-drenched days. The smell of gum trees and the sound of magpies. The occasional parrot encounter. (There's a supermarket near here that has a whole flock of raucous rainbow lorikeets that nests outside at sunset. I was gobsmacked.) Driving on the left. Indian food! There's a place not far from our apartment that does some wonderful things with (I think) cardamom, and it delivers. Oh, food generally. The produce is excellent, and I can get alfalfa sprouts that aren't all slimy on the bottom. I bought ten tins of flavoured tuna yesterday, with no duplicates. So many choices. Lamb! Oh, the lamb is sensational here. And I can get lemon squash to my heart's content. I can pick up kahlua slices any time I feel like it. Oh, BTW, there are now chili chocolate Tim Tams as well. (Seriously!) And Red Rock sour cream and chili chips are sensational.

Work is good too. Well, it's a bit slack right now, which doesn't sit so well with me. That'll change soon, though, I'm sure. My company is a good one too. I just completed a survey which included voting on what charitable endeavours they should get involved in. And they offer a lump-sum payment to support things like taking up an exercise program or learning a foreign language. They are impressing me. (Plus, in two months my long service leave kicks in!) It's not seeing me bounce out of bed each morning, but I certainly can't complain. (Plus, my view includes - apart from occasional falcons - Port Phillip Bay, so I get to watch the big ships coming into port and the yachts scooting around

In other related news, I've been asked to give a couple of lectures for one of the actuarial units at Melbourne Uni. That should be an interesting experience. It'll be at the start of August. I have a fair amount of leeway on what I want to cover (within reason, and no mole rats).

(continued...)

( continues...) On the downside, I haven't yet visited the penguins at Phillip Island. I haven't even gone to Melbourne Zoo since I got back. Its day shall come, but so far my weekends have been taken up with setting up house and D&D. I prefer to go during the week anyway, when the Zoo is quieter. Nonetheless, if anyone visits Melbourne, a road trip to Phillip Island is warranted to witness the penguin stampede.

I have, otherwise, been indulging some of my hobbies. This includes having bought about 60 Doctor Who books since I got home. Oh, the new series starts on ABC this Saturday. Can't wait.

So that's how things are going here - in short, very well. There are still many other things I want to sort out, mostly the life maintenance types such as exercise, but all in all it's coming together nicely. And now, in case I haven't mentioned this recently, everyone now needs to come and visit me. I have a sofa bed in the living room, and I'm promising shiny kangaroo dollars! What's not to love?

So, how’s everyone else?

Yay, Billytea!

And I bet you can order a Coke now without having to repeat yourself.

I'm awake. Because I am foolish, and didn't go to sleep. I'll regret this in the morning, or when the baby wakes up, whichever comes first.

And I bet you can order a Coke now without having to repeat yourself.

It's true! And I don't have to think twice about whether I'm using the right word all the time.

billytea, I have never in my life been so glad that someone who is so wonderful is so far away. You sound like you, again. And if I'm reading you correctly, you feel more like you than you have for as long as I've know you here. Thank you for telling us all that. I am so glad. I think you've recaptured your joy!

billytea, I'm glad you updated when you did. I've been gone for days and there will be no catching up other than this new thread.

Tired. Exhausted. Not enough time to do all we wanted. But we did get to spend a marvelous evening in Phoenix with erika, her mother and Betsy the Wonderdog! All your erika are belonging to me!!! Her mother is warm and funny and has that cool-mom vibe thing going on. And Betsy's carnal relations with the stuffed Yorkie. Cracked. Me. Up.

Also, they stuffed us full of yummy food. GINORMOUS steaks on the grill!

Owen did so well with my sisters and his grandparents. He slept through the night all but one of the nights he was gone (in strange beds!) And according to everyone, he was incredibly well behaved. My sister said, "you're so lucky he's such a good baby." I replied, "Lucky, HELL! I made him that way." Most of it is luck, though.

Top 50 in new thread!

Awesome billytea update. Now that's the kind of thing that's nice to wake up to reading.

Yes, I did mean the Phoenix Landing. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful- my brain, she is gone.

Hi Cash! Welcome back! Yay for Owen being so good.

Hi billytea! Welcome back! You sound great, and now I really want to buy a plane ticket for Australia. I'll bring dice.

I so want to see the penguin stampede also. I watched it on one of the many David Attenborough DVDs that got me through the first months here (I swear the kitling must've thought DA was his father, as I think he heard DA talk more than Actual Father (tm) did), Blue Planet, I think, and I got all teared up. Which is not entirely hormones.

Just got back from a walk with Mal to buy potting soil. Plants are cheap here, so I'm working on the balcony planters. I learned that "bouganvilla" (sp?) is pretty much the same word in Greek. Also, while our neighborhood is very military, the streets where we live are Orpheus, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Erato, etc. Which is cool, but they only used 5 Muses, and Clio (mine) isn't one of them. Ah well.

Awesome billytea update. Now that's the kind of thing that's nice to wake up to reading.

Well, you know, I aim to please.