P-C, is it okay if I ask what would happen if you told your folks no? More of the same selective not-hearing-you as in the past? What would happen if sometime between now and two years from now, you stumbled upon a cool, smart, Veronica Mars-watching woman who recognized you as the prize you are and pounced? Would you pounce back, or push her away, or would your family rend you limb from limb?
I'm sorry if this is all horribly nosy... I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to negotiate the very different expectations your family and the larger USian culture have of you, and I'm really rather fond of you and it stresses me out just trying to imagine how you manage. I want to crawl inside your brain and look out from in there and see what you see.
I would say close to eighty percent of the time I have conversed with my mom since I left for college, she has told me not to engage in
lufroo,
or affairs. It's either a command or a question with the expected answer of no. This has been my life for the last six years. I am not to do anything that would bring shame on the family name.
A cousin of mine in India eloped with a woman who was Indian but of a different caste. His parents (my dad's brother and his wife) basically disowned him for a year. The couple had a child. His parents finally did accept him back and gave them a proper marriage.
Then they got a divorce. This was to be a lesson to me about how I shouldn't choose my own wife. He then married someone his parents chose. They got a divorce too. I think there might be a lesson there too, but it can't be applied to me. I met his third wife when I went to India over Christmas.
So they're absolutely terrified I'll pull something like that. Someone Gujarati gets married to a Punjabi girl, and I say so what, and that kind of talk scares my mom. I...I really can't even fathom what I would do, JZ. I don't have a fucking clue. I like to think I would stand up for myself or something, or maybe they would understand and there would be no problems, but they talk out of both sides of their fucking mouths. They tell me how it's so okay for me to have friends who are girls, yet any time I so much as mention a girl, she's immediately under suspicion of being my girlfriend. I am being a perfectly normal fucking person, and I can't tell them about it because I don't want to deal with the stupid accusations.
I...I really don't know. And I'm crying now so I'll stop.
Here's what I hope. I hope P-C accidentally falls in love with a gorgeous, Gujarati (sp?) woman, and she with him, quite outside of his parents' machinations, and that everyone lives happily ever after.
That would certainly be optimal, and yeah, you spelled it right.
Also, your hair is great, JZ.
Here's Ellen, the girl who had to get over her ball fear.
Is she in the clay in socks!?!
JZ, very sexay. I often want something craxy and asymmetrical but I don't have enough hair. I like the cut I have now quite a lot.
I'm going to dinner tonight with a gift certificate given to me by a customer because she called me at home over the weekend with personal computer questions. Sweet.
In other Holt household news, Bobby finished his 2nd week of drama camp and they had their 2nd week end performance. Too dorky for words. I have it all on video.
Connie, I'm unsophisticated with you, honey.
To be clear -- *I* would go apeshit with my hair in my face, BUT that style looks fetching on JZ. 100%. I'm not saying it looks bad -- not at all. Quite the opposite.
Today, while I was having my haircut, I mentioned to the stylist that I was planning to get my brows waxed after, if the shop nextdoor could fit me in on short notice. One of the aestheticians from the shop nextdoor wandered in, so the stylist asked her if she could squeeze me in. She said, "I can if you let her come right now," so I went with a piece not unlike JZ's. I liked the look, but I decided I was too chicken. I was also afraid it might drive me buggy.
I like JZ's look on her, too--I don't think I could deal with anything asymmetrical on me.
{{{{{{{{{{{{P-C}}}}}}}}}}}}
Do you like your new haircut, Cindy? And when can I get more Cindy pictures, because, frankly, you're pretty fucking stingy with them.
But, ugh, I cannot stand the way I look in pictures lately
While I understand having this mindset, I want you to understand that ALL THE REST OF US think you're lovely, and are clamoring for more photos of you.
and are clamoring for more photos of you.
Frankly, I need more pictures of everybody. I need juliana's new haircut, and sj's new haircolor, and Jilli's new eyebrows, and Cindy's new haircut.
That's it. You've got one week. One week from now, everybody is obliged to post a recent picture of yourself. Get on it. No excuses.
After I redo the underside of my hair (Nutrisse Dark Chocolate wasn't contrasty enough and faded too quickly, and Sally was out of the Wella demi in Dark Brown, so I'll be doing Colorsilk black-brown for the underneath), I'm going to get my layers cut more aggro so as to show it off.
However, I'm sticking with long.
Ach, I don't want all that stress and sadness and worry for you. It's just too much for parents to put on their children, too much obedience and emotional submissivenss to demand of someone whom they're simultaneously expecting to act like a competent, functional adult.
Please don't cry, dear. Or, cry if it helps, but please be sure to wash your face afterwards and give yourself a treat and do yourself some small kindness.
