I think I found it: [link]

Thanks, Trudy--the site itself seems more focused on starting a home-based business than telecommuting/work from home, but I found a link there for a website that looks like it has legit telecommuting listings.

So now I'm all weepy at the thought of being away from Annabel more waking hours than I'm with her, and not having her beside me as I work, never getting to take breaks to read her stories, etc.

Uhm, kids survive daycare. It's actually a good thing. They see more people. They like it. They grow. You have more energy because you're not constantly being Mom. And particularly since you have such strong ambitions which are not going to be quelled by having an infant around the house, you will probably benefit from more Susan time.

And, I pretty much feel like a failure, too.

Well you're not, so I advise you to stop doing that thing you do where you make yourself feel like a failure.

Susan, what Hec said. Socially, my nieces who were in daycare, were lightyears ahead of my kids, until they'd had a year in pre-school.

That said, depending on daycare costs, maybe you could find something on weekends. You have your career. You are a writer. You need some money coming in, right now. Maybe look at the net salary (after paying for daycare) of a fulltime position, versus a weekend/night position you could take, when Dylan was home.

Car~ma and life~ma to you Susan. Finding a balance of career, baby, you, and hubby time is a huge challenge. It will get smoother.

Whew! I got a morning email response from my sister with a list of good things in her life, with me at the top of the list. So yes she took my words well. Now I hope I can help her fix the bad stuff.

To work with me.

Susan, I'm sorry. There's nothing as awful as that feeling that NOTHING WILL FUCKING GO RIGHT EVER DAMN IT ALL TO HELL. car problems are so notorious, for me, for triggering that. It's like, you're totally at the mercy of the car working, and when you're trying to pull yourself out of financial stuff... it is always so unplanned, and so expensive....

You guys will figure something out soon. You're exploring options, and something will pop up that will work well for you. You've got an upcoming trip, maybe you can clear your head away from home.

Whew! I got a morning email response from my sister with a list of good things in her life, with me at the top of the list. So yes she took my words well. Now I hope I can help her fix the bad stuff.

Laura, that is most excellent. I always have knots in my stomach whenever I engage my sister, and it is always a HUGE relief when it works out well.

That's a huge relief, Laura. It sounds like maybe she didn't realize that she'd slid back so badly into old patterns.

I am so relieved. It was scary to confront her that way. Now I just have to do the second part which is to help her stay focused on the positive and help find solutions for her real problems.

The conversation has moved on, but had to comment on this:

It's fun to count how many times Michelle Phillips mention's Cass' size.

Of course, Mama Cass Elliott had one of the great voices of the '60s. After the Mamas and Papas broke up, Michelle Phillips had -- a famous husband and a famous daughter.

Laura, I'm glad things turned out so well.

{{{Deena}}}

{{{Susan}}} I totally get the failure thing. Actually, sometimes I wonder when reading your posts if we're not the same person (only, you're married with a baby, and I'm single... but, we seem to have similar thought processes). I have all the faith in the world, though, that you're going to work things out. You always do.

Timelies, everyone!

I was away from the board all of yesterday. Boy, did I miss it! Wednesdays I don't get any computer time at work, because I'm supervising the kids. It was kind of fun, though. I had to search a couple of the kids, which felt strange, but I know is necessary. But, mostly, we hung out and chatted, which was fun. Chore time was a little crazy, and I had a little run-in with one of the kids, but he decided not to test me on my first day. I'm sure that won't last, but...

Now I'm drinking my coffee (quickly) so I can get in the shower. I'm supposed to be at work at 10. Blech.