I just emailed two friends with toddlers in daycare in Seattle to ask for advice on finding good care, how much it costs so I'll know what kind of money I need to make to get a net gain, etc.

So now I'm all weepy at the thought of being away from Annabel more waking hours than I'm with her, and not having her beside me as I work, never getting to take breaks to read her stories, etc.

And, I pretty much feel like a failure, too.

Susan, its a complicated balancing act that nobody achieves mastery of.

Did you look at your daughter's name on the baby name page? It's really cool.

I do wish the lady cat under my window would get it through her hormone-addled skull that the only boy kitties in this house are fixed boy kitties. Yes, Shadow is a burly young thing, but she's already smacked him around for being a disappointment. And Zeus from down the street deserves his name (long-haired seal-point Siamese and big), but he's shooting blanks too.

I hate listening to the desperate lust songs of frustrated kitties.

I skipped and skimmed most of that discussion, but if it's the page I'm thinking of (the one with the graphs tracking the name's popularity over the last century), I've seen it before.

I just wish I knew how to find legitimate work-from-home opportunities. If I could just find some small business owner who doesn't have the space or need for a 40-hour/week admin person, but would love to have a smart person who can do admin work plus some marketing and communications work on top of it 20-25 hours/week out of her house, it'd be a win-win situation. And I've heard of people who find such arrangements. I just have no idea how they go about it.

Susan, this morning on some morning yappy show they were talking about a website for just such mom-type-people. Maybe try the Today Show website?

I think I found it: [link]

Thanks, Trudy--the site itself seems more focused on starting a home-based business than telecommuting/work from home, but I found a link there for a website that looks like it has legit telecommuting listings.

So now I'm all weepy at the thought of being away from Annabel more waking hours than I'm with her, and not having her beside me as I work, never getting to take breaks to read her stories, etc.

Uhm, kids survive daycare. It's actually a good thing. They see more people. They like it. They grow. You have more energy because you're not constantly being Mom. And particularly since you have such strong ambitions which are not going to be quelled by having an infant around the house, you will probably benefit from more Susan time.

And, I pretty much feel like a failure, too.

Well you're not, so I advise you to stop doing that thing you do where you make yourself feel like a failure.

Susan, what Hec said. Socially, my nieces who were in daycare, were lightyears ahead of my kids, until they'd had a year in pre-school.

That said, depending on daycare costs, maybe you could find something on weekends. You have your career. You are a writer. You need some money coming in, right now. Maybe look at the net salary (after paying for daycare) of a fulltime position, versus a weekend/night position you could take, when Dylan was home.

Car~ma and life~ma to you Susan. Finding a balance of career, baby, you, and hubby time is a huge challenge. It will get smoother.

Whew! I got a morning email response from my sister with a list of good things in her life, with me at the top of the list. So yes she took my words well. Now I hope I can help her fix the bad stuff.

To work with me.