More OUaT alt-S4 posted in Buffista Fic.

Oh, Typo... Columbo would stand back and watch Jane digging a hole for himself, then hand him a shovel.

Anyone willing/capable to beta for my D/C BB work?

§ ita §, I'd be happy to help out. Profile addy is good.

Hey. Long time, no see (at least around these parts. I actually still see most of you folks on Facebook. I mean, it's not like I VANISHED or anything.)

Anyway, I've had a bunny in my head for a couple days, since mainlining "Life on Mars" and "Ashes to Ashes." It doesn't have a title yet, although I kind of know where it's going.

But I do know that it starts here:

Heaven's in Here

Prologue:

My name is Ted Kord. I was shot by Maxwell Lord in in 2005, and I woke up as a policeman in London in 1990. Am I crazy, in a coma, or have I traveled back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet. Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home before Lord destroys The Justice League ...

Oh, my. Victor, you have no idea how HAPPY this plot bunny makes me.

Excellent! Now let's see if I can pull off the trick ...

Heaven's in Here

One: If I Could Turn Back Time

I knew immediately it wasn't going to be enough. Knew even before he fired the gun. He had stolen something from Batman, some sort of spy satellite or something. He knew everything about all of us. Even Superman. Maxwell Lord – my friend Maxwell Lord, the man who once connived a new Justice League into being – was now in charge of Checkmate. He'd be coming for the rest of the League soon.

But I was first. Even if I could escape Checkmate's Zurich headquarters, I couldn't resist Max's mind-control. What happens if he uses it on Superman? Or Diana? We never worried about that because we thought we could trust him.

All I want is to put Earth's destiny in the hands of humans, he said, pointing the gun at me while I knelt wounded and bound on the floor. In the hands of people like me ...and people like you.

I asked if he was asking me to join or die. Then I told him to rot in Hell. In retrospect, maybe I should have stalled for time. Nah. Max would never have bought it. He fired, and I blacked out. For a moment, it was as though explosions rippled through my head. Then the pain changed, and it was as if I was being pummeled by fists.

Because I was. Instead of Max pontificating about his evil scheme, I suddenly had four skinheads laying into me, punching and kicking me as I lay on the ground. And I was on a city street, outdoors. I heard someone shout for the police, heard running. I almost forgot about the punching and kicking, because I realized that there wasn't a gaping hole in my head.

OK. First problems first. I grabbed one skinhead's arm and tossed him into his buddies, then flipped and kicked another one in the chin. He was out cold. One kick! I thought to myself, but these were hardly the Legion of Doom. I spun and took out another. The other two ran.

Stop, police! Shouted a woman's voice. A young, blonde woman in a police uniform – British? Definitely not American, despite her accent – took a baton to one of the skinheads as he tried to push past her. The last bruiser made a break for it, but I wasn't having it: I leaped, bounced off the wall and came down with my foot on his back.

I turned again to face the policewoman.

“The elderly couple they mugged said you jumped in to save them,” she said. Now that the adrenaline was subsiding, I felt a little wobbly on my knees. “Are you all right?”

“I don't think so,” I said. “I think I need to lie down for a …”

Aaaand, I was out. Just like that. It's kind of embarrassing, actually, because the cop was kind of cute. If you're into women in uniforms. Which, hey! I am! Thankfully, she was there in the hospital when I woke up.

“Hey,” she said, smiling down at me. “I was getting worried about you, DI Kord.”

“DI?” I said, clearly at the top of my wit.

“Sorry,” she said, folding up a copy of the London Herald and laying it on the table. “We had to go through your wallet when we brought you in. CDI was expecting you later today. Hell of a first day on the job!”

“Job?” I asked, confused.

“DCI Hunt was beside himself,” she continued. You should have heard the shouting. Well, I guess you'll hear it enough soon. The doctors say you can go home as soon as you feel ready.”

This was getting confusing. The cop seemed to think I was someone else. I had ID … people expecting me …

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Royal London,” said the cop, still smiling.

“London?” I said. “But I was in Zurich. Last thing I remember ...”

The last thing I remember is Max Lord putting a bullet though my brain.

“Are you going to be OK?” said the cop. “I think the pounding might have rattled you more than we thought.”

“No, no,” I said. “I'm OK getting pounded.” The cop snickered a bit and I added, “I can take a few hits! I mean …”

… I'm in London with no costume and no communication device, and the JLA doesn't have an embassy here anymore ...

“This is going to sound crazy,” I said, taking a deep breath to steady my (continued...)

( continues...) nerves, “but I need to get in contact with the Justice League.”

“Who are they? Some sort of social advocacy group?”

“No! The Justice League! Everybody's heard of them! Superman and Wonder Woman and ...”

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” said the young woman, smiling the sort of smile you wear when you're just about to have someone medicated for their own health and safety.” Should I call the Sister?”

She was about to make that decision for me, but I wanted to smooth things over before they escalated. I couldn't get bogged down here. I had things to do.

“No, no,” I said. “I'm OK. Just a little fuzzy, still. Hey, I never actually caught your name.”

“PC Bishop,” she said, her smile relaxing. PC Henrietta Bishop. But everybody just calls me Etta.”

“Nice to meet you, Etta,” I said, smiling lightly. I then looked around the hospital, to see if anything else was odd or out of place. Maybe hanging out with Bruce did have some effect on me. That's when I saw the newspaper's headline:

Nelson Mandela Freed

And suddenly, I knew that whatever was happening was far stranger than I had realized, and it began to sink in that I was very, very far from home.

Can anyone recommend an OUaT episode where there's an Emma-Regina fight that doesn't quite reach actual violence? I need a scene like that for the fic.