... the fuck?

People are CRAZY.

t hides under table

Pucker hole barely registered with me. I'm afraid I sprained something reading about swallowing an entire pectoral muscle. It doesn't help that I can't stop imagining Superman unhinging his jaw like a python for the swallowage.

That one doesn't have the entertaining malapropisms that make the Nikita fic so entertaining. It does, however, give the Nikita fic a serious run for its money in WTF?

That belt thing scares me.

Other new suggestions on yuletide that make my head hurt:

Gilmore Girls. (not obscure.) Farscape. (not obscure.) Good Omens. (not obscure.) Tess of the D'Ubervilles. (NO NO NO NONONONONO.)

Also, if people don't stop suggesting stuff that's already on the list, I'm...going to do nothing, because I am not running this challenge. But I will fume.

I was temporarily blinded by the badfic. I don't think that the DC verse writer is in teh same category as the Nikita writer. The Nikitia writer reminds me of some rather earnest but really bad DS stuff -- the writer(s) that use phrases like "Canadian nectar" and "porecilan lover" (for the toilet, after RayK locks himself in his bathroom at home and jacks off in front of the toilet).

The DC writer definitly reminds me of the Buffy/Mummy Hand guy, he wrote Buffy/Snyder and other weird stuff, but what stands out is the description of Buffy going home after the inicident with Snyder and feeling his semen sloshing around in her uterus.

A friend on LJ linked to what has got to be the worst DC slashfic I've read.

There is a lot a excruciatingly bad Bruce/Dick out there on the internets.

Boring porn is just such a shame.

What got me about Mummy Hand guy was that he didn't seem to understand how a cervix worked.

There is a lot a excruciatingly bad Bruce/Dick out there on the internets.

This was Lex/Dick.

And Lex was written a lot like J. Edgar Hoover without the dresses.

Lex/Dick? HA.

Batman would maim him if he tried anything.

Yep. Lick. So the opening declares.

I am Alexander Jerome Luthor.

The most powerful man of Metropolis, soon the lord of Gotham City. Within a few seasons, the undisputed master of this planet.

Like most conquerors, I have my Achilles heel. And like them, I fear its discovery.

The Justice League and that big Boy Scout would probably regard me with some trepidation if they find out. The other so-called super-villains on Earth would undoubtedly find some way to exploit it. Which is why I have always taken great pains to conceal it, suffer the fulfillment of that hunger for years, if necessary, or assuage it through some other means.

Fortunately, my brain is much more powerful and is in control of my bodily appetites.

Until I made his re-acquaintance, bringing me to despair.

Until I learned his secret, which brought me glorious jubilation and no small amount of grim satisfaction.

How long will you remain out there? I call out to the evening beyond the windowsill of my palatial fortress. You cant stay out forever.