See, and here I've been thinking all my life that heifers ARE cows.
Heifers are, like, prepubescent cows.
I was once attacked by a heifer who was going into heat for the first time....
I want to torture you. I used to love it, and it's been a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even have chainsaws.
Angel ,'Chosen'
What Happens in Natter 35 Stays in Natter 35
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
tommyrot - May 11, 2005 10:53:23 am PDT #3316 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Frankenbuddha - May 11, 2005 10:54:39 am PDT #3317 of 10001
"We are the Goon Squad and we're coming to town...Beep! Beep!" - David Bowie, "Fashion"
A heifer bit my sister once....
Jessica - May 11, 2005 10:54:52 am PDT #3318 of 10001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
A heifer once bit my sister. t /kneejerk
[edit: Damn you, wee Frank!]
DavidS - May 11, 2005 10:56:13 am PDT #3319 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Hmmm, how long will this xpost grow. I'm at two right now but factoring in the number of Buffistas present times the Python reference...
eta: Nope. Just two. You all sicken me with your failure to geek out!
sarameg - May 11, 2005 10:56:32 am PDT #3320 of 10001
An Aarvark bit my brother!
ChiKat - May 11, 2005 10:57:06 am PDT #3321 of 10001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?
Cotton Mather in his book "The history of New England," written at the end of the seventeenth century, describes how a Weymouth man, who had been a lifelong Sodomist, was first made to watch as 3 sheep, 2 sows, 2 heifers and a cow, all of which had been his sexual partners, were hanged. It seems that in this puritanical world that the animals involved were just as guilty "before God" as the man himself. He was executed in the same manner shortly afterwards.
William Bradford wrote about a similar incident in The History of Plymouth Plantation. But, in his version, the boy also had sex with a turkey (I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of that) in addition to the other sheep, cows, etc. The animals were slaughtered and buried in a pit because they were too unclean to eat. The boy was then hanged.
tommyrot - May 11, 2005 10:57:33 am PDT #3322 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
A wombat bit my niece....
Frankenbuddha - May 11, 2005 10:57:54 am PDT #3323 of 10001
"We are the Goon Squad and we're coming to town...Beep! Beep!" - David Bowie, "Fashion"
Damn you, wee Frank!
Heh. I'm just not sure which of us got the phraseology right (I typed "My sister was bitten by a heifer once" originally, but it looked wrong).
tommyrot - May 11, 2005 10:58:24 am PDT #3324 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
But, in his version, the boy also had sex with a turkey (I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of that)
In the words of Adam Sandler (in his love song to a chicken), "If an egg can fit in there, why can't I?"
Jessica - May 11, 2005 10:59:49 am PDT #3325 of 10001
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
"If an egg can fit in there, why can't I?"
BECAUSE IT'S SICK AND WRONG, THAT'S WHY