I shudder to think what a white t-shirt and khakis say about my inner life.

Vanilla?

I tried wearing makeup daily after I shed 60 pounds. Eventually I decided that an extra 30 minutes of sleep did more for my looks than getting up early enough to put concealer under my eyes. I still like wearing make-up for special occasions, but to me it's like a costume: formal dinner drag, along with fun clothes and footwear. And when I play dress-up -- and wearing makeup falls into that category for me -- I like it when others are playing with me, male and female. Nothing says "Look at me, for I am Sir Hottie McHotness" like a fella who knows how to wear eyeliner.

Hmm. I shudder to think what a white t-shirt and khakis say about my inner life

You're not your fucking khakis.

Oh, *I* know that. I just wonder what Sandra Dee images I'm putting forth.

I shudder to think what a white t-shirt and khakis say about my inner life.

Vanilla?

Exactly my point. Anyone who infers that, based on the way I look, is just missing out on fudge-ripple-nut-crunch-y goodness.

I just wonder what Sandra Dee images I'm putting forth.

So you have a wonderfully Vanilla exterior with a lovely, cream-filled, porny center.

Like a Tootsie pop.

How many licks does it take.....

I think EVERYONE, male or female, looks better with a smidge of concealer, powder, groomed eyebrows, mascara, and tinted lip balm. EVERYONE

I completely agree with this. And yet, I wear makeup extremely rarely, because for most of my day-to-day life, I'm not interested in looking "better." The effort I put into looking good corresponds directly with how important I think it is for whatever audience I'll have, and usually, it's pretty minimal.

Ah, see -- this (err, not your opinion, specifically, Hec, as I don't interact with you in meatspace and don't have to actually face your evaluation on a daily basis) is why I feel such a pressure to Dress Up And Look Pretty, beyond what I would do if I were only pleasing myself.

And I am sorry to add to the cultural pressure. Though to distinguish myself from the cultural norm, I don't want or expect women to conform to a standard Playboy bunny model of appearance. To the contrary, I don't find that look even remotely appealing, nor do I like any single standard of beauty. I like very individual style, which is available to anyone with an imagination.

Also my attraction to personal style is probably a fairly idiosyncratic preference for an elevated sense of intrigue and style-as-social discourse dealie. I probably would have thrived in an ultra-aesthete culture as exemplified by the Heian dynasty in Japan where every gesture was Loaded And Significant.

I wouldn't say I have a style, so much as a consistency. It is easy, simple, and doesn't require much of a mirror. Which means I'm kinda in awe of a lot of women. But mostly of Jilli - I just couldn't do something so difficult - to shop for, explain, and just put together.

Remember, I am on the outside edge of opinion in this, because I think EVERYONE, male or female, looks better with a smidge of concealer, powder, groomed eyebrows, mascara, and tinted lip balm.

I'm just a little further toward the middle on this, but only just. Then again, I use my clothes as armor, and I also choose to Dress more often than many of my peers.

Then again, a clean white form-fitting t-shirt can be one of the sexiest articles of clothing around. It's all how it's worn.

eta: for most of my day-to-day life, I'm not interested in looking "better." The effort I put into looking good corresponds directly with how important I think it is for whatever audience I'll have, and usually, it's pretty minimal.

Also this. I've already set myself far enough apart from everyone I spend 40 hours a week with via hair and clothes - I don't feel that they're worth the effort of full make-up. Well, and I Don't Really Do day make-up. Haven't the talent. Easier to do full-on.