Robin is right; also the minimum level of grooming has gone down. No hats, no girdles for women, no high heels for women. A clean sweatsuit is acceptable outdoor wear.

edit: not going to try and mess with the link.

Someone remind me that 2 pounds of velvet + 100+ degree Utah summers will land me back in the hospital, please.

Phrase I never thought I'd say: I think some of the most gorgeous skirts are too big for me.

But I think of style as an expression of an inner life

sort of. my clothes are comfortable; I prefer those that flow,and darks that make brights brighter. If I get over simplistic about it, I think that life flows. it is a mixture of light and dark - and darkness only makes makes the brights better. when did I find my style? age 39/40 - when I suddenly got comfortable in my skin.

well, some people dress weird just to get attention, and some people who are unkempt have rich inner lives.

I'm only stating my preference - not a moral judgement. I think I care about it more than most men, for whatever that assessment is worth.

wearing khakis and a white t-shirt today and not in the least bit defensive, nope, not me, nuh-uh, no way

Well, I've seen you dressed down and fuly dressed up. I like you just as much as a friend in either fashion, but I think you look more attractive all tarted up. But then I like your style.

Mind you, it is true that many people consider hairless legs and pits minimal grooming for women. And that others don't. Man, I tried to resist the pull to consider hairlessness the default option, but eventually I just got too nervous about it and gave in.

wearing khakis and a white t-shirt today and not in the least bit defensive, nope, not me, nuh-uh, no way

What would Jilli do?

I'm only stating my preference - not a moral judgement.

I get that. I'm not being pugnacious, here. I find your viewpoint interesting, because I feel so totally differently about it. Appearances are....just that. Appearances. Surface. They're a type of currency, I suppose, but I don't really take anything else away from them aside from "Likes plaid," or "Oddly hairy."

but I think you look more attractive all tarted up.

Ah, see -- this (err, not your opinion, specifically, Hec, as I don't interact with you in meatspace and don't have to actually face your evaluation on a daily basis) is why I feel such a pressure to Dress Up And Look Pretty, beyond what I would do if I were only pleasing myself.

I like me just fine in my un-tarted state, but knowing that it's the tarting up that makes me attractive to others, well, A Well-Groomed Girl Is A Pleasing Girl, it seems.

Steph, I've been thinking about this one, too. If I have a personal style of dress, then it's one that's accreted around me, rather than one I purposely chose. Eventually I stopped trying to have a style and just went with clothes that bug me the least. I'm not sure whether that's a style or not.

But you, you've got style, baby. Of which, in fact, a white t-shirt and khakis are a part.

(ETA: Except when I'm playing dress-up, which I do (very rarely) because it's lots of fun and I like the way I look in it.)

I like me just fine in my un-tarted state, but knowing that it's the tarting up that makes me attractive to others, well, A Well-Groomed Girl Is A Pleasing Girl, it seems.

Remember, I am on the outside edge of opinion in this, because I think EVERYONE, male or female, looks better with a smidge of concealer, powder, groomed eyebrows, mascara, and tinted lip balm. EVERYONE. However, I fully accept that my aesthetic standards are not everyone elses, and I try not to pressure my friends into adopting them. Just don't be too freaked out if I stare at you and make twitching movements toward my cosmetics bag.

If I have a personal style of dress, then it's one that's accreted around me, rather than one I purposely chose. Eventually I stopped trying to have a style and just went with clothes that bug me the least.

Heh. Exactly! That's Fashion du Teppy, 100%!

But you, you've got style, baby. Of which, in fact, a white t-shirt and khakis are a part.

Hmm. I shudder to think what a white t-shirt and khakis say about my inner life.

I rather enjoy being an enigma wrapped in a riddle, smothered in secret sauce. Well, seriously, I have one HELL of an inner life, and I get a real kick out of people's reactions when (if) they stick around long enough for me to give them a glimpse of it. No one ever expects me to be....well, be *me,* it seems. Never judge a Teppy by her cover.