A certain level of grooming for both men and women--clean body and clothes, combed hair, seems to be a minimum for daily discourse with anyone. I think men or women would steer clear of someone with matted hair or unwashed clothes. In style or out doesn't matter as much as grooming--going out without makes one look craxy or like one doesn't care about anything. Extras like stylish clothes, make-up, cool eyeglasses and whatnot are all personal expression.

Do you consider the inverse to be true, also?

Of course. People that lack style have no inner life.

Their inner lives are just very very calm.

No, I knew it was a simplistic question when I asked it, and I really didn't mean it to be, but -- well, some people dress weird just to get attention, and some people who are unkempt have rich inner lives.

signed,
wearing khakis and a white t-shirt today and not in the least bit defensive, nope, not me, nuh-uh, no way

Robin is right; also the minimum level of grooming has gone down. No hats, no girdles for women, no high heels for women. A clean sweatsuit is acceptable outdoor wear.

edit: not going to try and mess with the link.

Someone remind me that 2 pounds of velvet + 100+ degree Utah summers will land me back in the hospital, please.

Phrase I never thought I'd say: I think some of the most gorgeous skirts are too big for me.

But I think of style as an expression of an inner life

sort of. my clothes are comfortable; I prefer those that flow,and darks that make brights brighter. If I get over simplistic about it, I think that life flows. it is a mixture of light and dark - and darkness only makes makes the brights better. when did I find my style? age 39/40 - when I suddenly got comfortable in my skin.

well, some people dress weird just to get attention, and some people who are unkempt have rich inner lives.

I'm only stating my preference - not a moral judgement. I think I care about it more than most men, for whatever that assessment is worth.

wearing khakis and a white t-shirt today and not in the least bit defensive, nope, not me, nuh-uh, no way

Well, I've seen you dressed down and fuly dressed up. I like you just as much as a friend in either fashion, but I think you look more attractive all tarted up. But then I like your style.

Mind you, it is true that many people consider hairless legs and pits minimal grooming for women. And that others don't. Man, I tried to resist the pull to consider hairlessness the default option, but eventually I just got too nervous about it and gave in.

wearing khakis and a white t-shirt today and not in the least bit defensive, nope, not me, nuh-uh, no way

What would Jilli do?

I'm only stating my preference - not a moral judgement.

I get that. I'm not being pugnacious, here. I find your viewpoint interesting, because I feel so totally differently about it. Appearances are....just that. Appearances. Surface. They're a type of currency, I suppose, but I don't really take anything else away from them aside from "Likes plaid," or "Oddly hairy."

but I think you look more attractive all tarted up.

Ah, see -- this (err, not your opinion, specifically, Hec, as I don't interact with you in meatspace and don't have to actually face your evaluation on a daily basis) is why I feel such a pressure to Dress Up And Look Pretty, beyond what I would do if I were only pleasing myself.

I like me just fine in my un-tarted state, but knowing that it's the tarting up that makes me attractive to others, well, A Well-Groomed Girl Is A Pleasing Girl, it seems.

Steph, I've been thinking about this one, too. If I have a personal style of dress, then it's one that's accreted around me, rather than one I purposely chose. Eventually I stopped trying to have a style and just went with clothes that bug me the least. I'm not sure whether that's a style or not.

But you, you've got style, baby. Of which, in fact, a white t-shirt and khakis are a part.

(ETA: Except when I'm playing dress-up, which I do (very rarely) because it's lots of fun and I like the way I look in it.)