Dunno if it's a guy vs. girl thing or just the fact that I'm a slob, but if I'm home and don't expect anyone to see me, pictures of the results could be used for blackmail purposes.

Heh. I am Matt.

Me, I dress just as much as *I* like, unless I need to have a specific effect (look professional, scary ... sexy is just one of those options, and not used as often as the other two suggestions).

This is me too, pretty much. My office's "business casual" dress code is a lot more casual than business, but I still like to look relatively put-together when I leave the house.

Nonetheless, my underwear has never matched, ever. Makeup during the day? Don't make me laugh.

Some guys are turned on by hairy legs and pits

Which is why I said "some of the guys."

I, for instance, didn't realise until I went to university, that most women have pit hair. I can definitely see ways a reasonable guy could make a similar mistake, and have it last longer.

I've definitely heard guys I consider pretty reasonable assume all women shave their legs, and be surprised that I didn't. A couple dropped off the reasonable list by suggesting I start (dude, if I have to tell you I don't shave them, it's possibly not an issue).

It is very true that a guy who does more than indicate things he likes to see is liable to get blacklisted quickly by me. But it seems to me that very many guys assume that most women will tweeze, pluck and shave, and that's what women do, and that's how women will look.

I have had more comments about unshaven legs from women than I have from men.

I'm home and don't expect anyone to see me, pictures of the results could be used for blackmail purposes.

See, I couldn't be blackmailed, as I'm unapologetic about my scooping-litterboxes outfits and lord knows all my neighbors and random strangers in the parking lot have seem my lovely apparel. But it is funny, I wouldn't go to the store in them.

I dress just as much as *I* like, unless I need to have a specific effect

Because of this. I'd like to control/predict reactions to me* as much as is possible and presentation is just one aspect of how I do this.

* ok, I'd like to control everydamnedlittlething but...

I'm not sure you can say "In general women dress for men" or that in general they do it for themselves. I like feeling well dressed and put together, beyond even makeup and clothes, I like my little case of perfumes and the matching purses and shoes I have for nearly everything I own. I'm 100% sure that's for me and not Mr. H (or any other guy) because most guys I know wouldn't even notice, but I do. (Actually I do know quite a few who would notice, but they wouldn't be attracted to me anyway).

OTOH I have a friend who isn't slobby, but not really into the whole getting all made up thing, who got a makeover and hair done to impress her husband. Then I have friends who are studiously unmade up to avoid looking like they're trying to attract anyone.

But it seems to me that very many guys assume that most women will tweeze, pluck and shave, and that's what women do, and that's how women will look.

Sure. But once you hang out with a guy for awhile, you find out that he's not "a guy", he's this particular guy, and he has particular-guy preferences. Jessica's and my husbands prefer the natural look. I'm fuzzy-legged for much of the winter, and he doesn't care.

I'd like to control/predict reactions to me* as much as is possible and presentation is just one aspect of how I do this

YES. Honestly, there are times I want to wear the shiny boots, and don't, because people will look. Or the really short skirt, or whatever. Sometimes it's just what I want to have on.

I think I dress presentably just about all the time, unless it's really cold (I get psycho with the layering) or there's a laundry issue. I will sometimes match my underwear -- I like pretty things much more than I'm concerned with being pretty. Being pretty makes things complicated. Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

Being pretty makes things complicated. Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

ita is wise.

Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

Zactly. I'm wearing my long flowy purple dress today (HolyClothing, Jilli), and a stranger complimented me on how elegant I looked and asked what the occasion was. I explained that I just liked the dress.

I'm not trying to look beautiful, I'm trying to look me. Not infrequently my clothes are more interesting than my face, and God knows they're always better than my hair. (I NEED A HAIRCUTTER STAT!)