I'm not sure you can say "In general women dress for men" or that in general they do it for themselves. I like feeling well dressed and put together, beyond even makeup and clothes, I like my little case of perfumes and the matching purses and shoes I have for nearly everything I own. I'm 100% sure that's for me and not Mr. H (or any other guy) because most guys I know wouldn't even notice, but I do. (Actually I do know quite a few who would notice, but they wouldn't be attracted to me anyway).

OTOH I have a friend who isn't slobby, but not really into the whole getting all made up thing, who got a makeover and hair done to impress her husband. Then I have friends who are studiously unmade up to avoid looking like they're trying to attract anyone.

But it seems to me that very many guys assume that most women will tweeze, pluck and shave, and that's what women do, and that's how women will look.

Sure. But once you hang out with a guy for awhile, you find out that he's not "a guy", he's this particular guy, and he has particular-guy preferences. Jessica's and my husbands prefer the natural look. I'm fuzzy-legged for much of the winter, and he doesn't care.

I'd like to control/predict reactions to me* as much as is possible and presentation is just one aspect of how I do this

YES. Honestly, there are times I want to wear the shiny boots, and don't, because people will look. Or the really short skirt, or whatever. Sometimes it's just what I want to have on.

I think I dress presentably just about all the time, unless it's really cold (I get psycho with the layering) or there's a laundry issue. I will sometimes match my underwear -- I like pretty things much more than I'm concerned with being pretty. Being pretty makes things complicated. Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

Being pretty makes things complicated. Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

ita is wise.

Being near pretty things is just pleasant.

Zactly. I'm wearing my long flowy purple dress today (HolyClothing, Jilli), and a stranger complimented me on how elegant I looked and asked what the occasion was. I explained that I just liked the dress.

I'm not trying to look beautiful, I'm trying to look me. Not infrequently my clothes are more interesting than my face, and God knows they're always better than my hair. (I NEED A HAIRCUTTER STAT!)

But once you hang out with a guy for awhile, you find out that he's not "a guy", he's this particular guy, and he has particular-guy preferences.

Dude. Generalities. I can edit the original post and put "most" in there if you need. I thought it was implied, since asking if all X are Y is way dumber a question about people than I'd ever dream of asking. Even so, I've been trying to throw in the words like "general" and "some."

Well, a generality can be so general as to be meaningless. Do guys like garlic? Do guys like purple?

But it seems to me that very many guys assume that most women will tweeze, pluck and shave, and that's what women do, and that's how women will look.

Ah. There I think you're right- though honestly, if it's not an outstanding feature, they'll likely never know if you don't tweeze, pluck or shave. I have been known to go a while without shaving my legs because the hair there is blonde and fine- no one but Mr. H would ever know, and he doesn't get to tell me to shave until he thinks about ridding himself of the mountain man look. I just waxed my brows and stuff this weekend, and I had to tell him I had even after he saw Waxnhair in the trash.

Glitter fans beware: Deputy sues Florida hospital after receiving injection of glitter in the ass.

I don't wear my shiny red shoes to work because I know just about every person would have to comment on them and it would get so tiresome. Yes, they are red. Yes, bright red. Yes, they are kinda funky. However, out and about, I don't mind a random stranger complimenting me on them, or asking where I got them.