you are a paragon of mental health

And single to boot! Who'da thunk it?

I've never met book intolerant, but I can certainly see the PoV that staying in because you just have to finish that Crusie or that Heinlein or that Morrison is antisocial and avoidant and lacking in fun.

I don't think bookworm was coined as a compliment.

My filters were that he had to be very intelligent, non-smoking, and have compatible religious beliefs. And if I had to do it all over again, those would still be in place.

At the time my friends were plotting to set me & Pete up, my filters were not a musician, not in the Camarilla, not psycho, and appreciated whimsy.

not psycho

Always a good one.

Hey, that's how my wife describes her life with me right now.

Gud, I'm really hoping that you and your wife are able to make some changes that lead you to good places. Sooner rather than later.

At a certain point in my life, I found myself applying this filter: asking my dates, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

I found myself applying this filter: asking my dates, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Yeah, I suddenly find I'm attractive to married men. What is up with that?

ita, I don't doubt you'd be attractive to married men. The thing is, what makes them think they have anything to offer you? That is an amazing conceit on their part.

I've never met book intolerant

I never met someone I'd call "intolerant" either, when it comes to books, but at least three of my meatspace friends are just not readers. They look at my bookcases and ask if I've actually "read all those books." The DH is not like that, thank goodness.

I didn't have filters when I met him, I don't think. I was seventeen. What the hell did I know? He was cute and he liked me and we could talk, and talk, and talk. And almost twenty years later, we've learned that we have a lot of differences, but we love each other enough to make them work.

I couldn't imagine my life without him, yet if I suddenly found myself alone and wanting to find someone new, there would be a lot of filters in place that have to do with who I am *now*.

I never met someone I'd call "intolerant" either, when it comes to books, but at least three of my meatspace friends are just not readers. They look at my bookcases and ask if I've actually "read all those books."

Did you tell them, "Nah -- some of them don't even have pages. I hollowed them out to hide my hooch,"?

When I met my husband to be, I had filters that I thought were important that I discarded. Maybe not even discarded, but rather than being complete barriers to a relationship, they were issues we had to work through.

Before him I stuck with guys long after I should have bailed (not because they were psycho, just because we weren't really that compatible) because they seemed to have the qualities I thought I was looking for.

{{Gud}}