Which isn't a bad thing if those people are incompatable with your preferred lifestyle.

Too true! And best for all involved, or not involved as the case may be. A catless cat person like me would have made the other person miserable with my catless misery.

Fay, great letter.

Yes, but I know too many people (men and women) who have immutable lists and reject folks after one or two dates without ever finding out if things can be dealt with. I always said I would never be with a smoker. BF smoked like a chimney for the first four years of our relationship. He quit when I got bronchitis for the second time and hasn't smoked again. If he hadn't, we would have figured out a way to live with it--he has to smoke outside or only near an open window, or whatever. Some things. like having children, are huge sacrifices and may end a relationship, but I would say you wait to see how much each of you is willing to invest and how wonderful the person might be before you decide.

You're a far more patient soul than I, Robin.

Not being able to have cats is undealy. Having cats in my life is just that important to me.

I don't want to put makeup on for fear that I'll make it worse,

t unsolicited advice

A light layer of concealer and powder will help you feel better without creating too much of a problem. (If your face gets a little oily, you can dab it with a kleenex but don't rub or touch your face excessively)

t /unsolicited advice

Thanks, beathen. I'll do just that (and wash my face the minute I get to my hotel room).

Cindy, Emily, Lee, and Maria. I am very afraid.

One of those 4 will be the nicest one evah, luckily.

I am pretty much with Plei on the cat thing, though I am actually more of a pet person than a cat person. I just can't imagine not have a pet of some sort. Plus, I have made a committment to the two cats I now have, and I do take them into consideration when I am planning my life. I know Ozzie wouldn't survive a plane trip, and I took that into consideration when I was looking for places to move. I am also not sure he would survive changing owners. Perkins the cat would, but I am not sure about Ozzie. Consequently, hile he is still alive, no cats would be a deal breaker for me.

People's priorities differ. I could live without cats, but there will be dogs in my life as soon as I can afford to take care of one properly. I've lived without a significant other and I've lived without dogs, and I find I miss dogs more. Would I like to hitch up with a suitable fella? Sure. But dogs are on my relationship filter, just like "tolerates books" and "religiously liberal".

Most women I know have various filters in place. Some would never get involved with guys who aren't in the same general social-economic class. Some would never get involved with younger guys. Some would never go for guys who can't dance/cross dress/listen to country-western music/are computer geeks. Some insist on fellas who want kids.

None of those are my filters. Are you 33 year old bisexual computer geek with no rythmn, a vascectomy, and a fondness for Mary Chapin Carpenter (or just want her clothes)? Are you ok with dogs, books, and neo-pagan types? We can get coffee.

We can get coffee.

So, he's got to like coffee?

he's got to like coffee?

Well, he has to tolerate the smell. It's either that or deal with me without my coffee, and that would test the strongest relationship.