Boy, there was a lot of deep stuff happening in Bitches while I went off and had a massage, discovered a possible new show (House), had a decent night's sleep, etc.

Guns: Dad had a rifle. He grew up on a farm, took in extra money as a hunting "guide" (ie, escorted hunters around his dad's back 40 until they found a buck, shot it for them, and let them take it home as their kill), and killed dinner for his family with it more than once. When I was 15 he and a Sherrif friend of his took me and some other teenagers out to the country and taught us how to shoot. I learned how to use two different kinds of rifles and a couple of handguns. That was the last time I used one. Basically, it was a "here's how not to kill yourself with these things" session, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't shoot my own foot off by accident now, although I doubt I could hit anything else on purpose.

I also learned that guns were designed with one purpose in mind--to put pieces of metal in other things at great velocity. You may be defending yourself at the time, you may be getting dinner, you may be really unhappy with a row of tin cans, or you may be attemting to harm another person. But whether beautifully engraved with a walnut stock or mass produced out of the lowest class metal the manufacturer could get away with, guns were designed to cause damage. I could balance this in my head and see using a gun decoratively. (Or a sword, since that would be a similar mental juggling act.) There are tons of other things in a similar price range that I'd buy first, because that's how my aesthetics work, but if I had a DH who wanted to use an 18th century rifle as an accent piece over the fireplace, no problem. But I would totally get it if he was against it, because the associate between guns and hurting people is very clear in my mind. That's why many of them were made, especially military issue--to kill as effectively as possible. I'd understand if it over-road any other aspect of gun ownership in my partner's mind. (The kids issue wouldn't come up in my household, in as much as I will not be having children.)

Pets vs. Partners: I've been dumped by men and I've been dumped by my cat. At the moment I don't have either an SO or a pet in my life. I'm pretty sure I'll get a dog, but that's a lot easier to arrange than getting a lover, at least if you're me. Would I give up an established pet for a fella? I doubt it. It's sort of like books, my religious beliefs, and my human family. If the guy had trouble with my reading habits, my paganism, or the time I spent helping Dad with Mom's chemo I can't see going on a second date with him. This stuff is front and center in my life, and the pets would be, too. And if he waited until we were established lovers to tell me that he wanted me to sell my books/convert to Christianity/blow off my parents/give away my dog I would feel deeply betrayed.

That's good news, -t! I'm glad you have one less thing to worry about--moving's stressful enough.

I don't think Hec was saying that being close to a pet constituted an unhealthy attachment.

I think it all comes down to choices, and there are a lot of ways to figure out if something's going to be a sticking point before it gets to something serious. For example, JZ likely knew from the beginning that Hec was allergic to cats, and possibly knew in the back of her mind that if things were to move forward with Hec, that co-habitation would mean some tough choices. I may be assuming stuff that is stupid of me to assume. But that's what I've gleaned.

Likewise, vw, if you met someone who was allergic to Toto, or didn't like him (IMPOSSIBLE!!! stick to the allergies on this hypothetical) then I think you'd let him go sooner rather than later, as it's one of those incompatibilities that would make the two of you not suited for each other in the long run, like politics, religion, etc. (ETA - xpost with Calli!)

So, everyone's right, because it's all about personal choices.

Also, sometimes people suck hard, as watching the news will have you believe, and sometimes a better bet is the company of animals and not someone who, you know, sucks and hurts you in one of the multitudes of ways that we human hurt each other.

Nora, I'm glad you posted that. I was feeling like Hec's point was taken places he didn't intend it to go.

I've been dumped by my cat.

Damn. Now THAT's gotta sting.

Huh. I doubt I'd get rid of a pet for a boyfriend, but for a live-in/husband who was allergic? Yeah, I would. It would be really hard -- I've had pets most of my life -- but I'd do it for a spouse. Not for a BF, as they have impermanent status.

I would not get rid of a pet if it were simply a case of the guy not liking the pet. If it's that much of a deal-breaker, then there are probably other things I wouldn't like about the guy.

But allergies I understand, and if I love someone enough to marry him, and he's allergic, I'd give my pet away.

Nora, I'm glad you posted that. I was feeling like Hec's point was taken places he didn't intend it to go.

Me, too.

Gonna see Star Wars tonight at the midnight show. Am deeply thrilled.

-t, that's good to hear. We want you stress free this weekend. (and always)

Very nicely put, Nora.

Thanks, Calli! It's a load off my mind. (eta: and Laura! I will strive to keep my moving anxiety to a minimum this weekend. Seeing your pampered and pretty self will help with that, I'm sure)

I've been dumped by my cat.

Damn. Now THAT's gotta sting.

Oh, yeah. I hurt worse than getting dumped by the then boyfriend: after all, I hadn't rescued him from the streets and fed him for the past three years.

But allergies I understand, and if I love someone enough to marry him, and he's allergic, I'd give my pet away.

I can see this. I just don't believe in love at first sight (at least for me), and if the guy wasn't able to deal with the pets (whether through allergies or other issues) I can't see dating him long enough to fall in love with him.

Of course, I also expect to die an old maid anyway, so my perspective is not everyone's.

Gonna see Star Wars tonight at the midnight show. Am deeply thrilled.

My alarm clock is set to NPR, and the timing was such that this morning, what woke me up was the Star Wars theme, as it led into the story about the movie. It was actually a little disconcerting at first.