Timelies!

I'm staying out of the pet/humans conversations, because I fear I would say not-nice things to people I really like and respect.

I am excited about my interview today. Maybe I didn't get offered that other job, because this one really would be a better fit. I'm crossing my fingers that that is the case, anyway.

Oh my, I just can't help myself but to comment on the pet/human stuff. I have had pets all of my life. I have no recollection of a time in life when I didn't have a pet. I treasure and love them. That said, it is within the possibility of imagination that I would find a new home for a pet if my husband or children developed a severe allergy, fear, whatever. It is not possible for me to imagine dumping the spouse or children in favor of the pet. It is not the same thing for me. Thankfully I haven't had to make a choice and can love 'em all.

I lied. I am going to say something about the pet/humans thing.

Quite frankly, I don't think someone who didn't like dogs (or was allergic), or more specifically Toto, would last long in my life...not necessarily because I've made that specific choice, but because I love Toto that much. As wonderful as humans have been to me over the last several years (and they've been pretty damn amazing), it's Toto that's really kept me here when I've been seriously suicidal. My therapists know this and have used it frequently to guilt me into staying alive. I can't leave him. I know it would really affect him, because I've seen it even during short periods of time. Last summer he had to stay at my parents while I was in the hospital and in a day program. It was three or four weeks that he was out there. He moped around and had accidents in the house all the time, something that he doesn't do when he's here with me. Now, that's not to say that he wouldn't eventually adjust. He probably would. But not without some stress and pain.

Also, when I'm seriously depressed and don't want to get out of bed? It's Toto that gets me out of bed and moving...knowing that he must have that walk...even a short one. And he just has such unconditional love. On Sunday when we had the ordeal with the guy on the fire escape, he knew something was wrong and cuddled up with me to keep me safe the rest of the night.

He's a pretty damn special and amazing dog. People on the board even know this, because he's gotten Secret Santa presents thanking him for being so good to me. Is this possibly an unhealthy "relationship"? Maybe. But, if it's kept me here, are you seriously going to argue that?

Timelies all. So glad it's Wednesday. I need this week to be over.

But, if it's kept me here, are you seriously going to argue that?

I think pets have individual personalities, just like people, and just like people, relationships with some pets are more important than others. In this case, vw, I don't think anyone would argue that Toto is very important to you, and very special. That unconditional love has gotten you through some really scary stuff, and anyone who loves you should acknowledge that.

Personally, I got a cat years ago even though I was allergic because I love animals and where we lived at the time, we couldn't have a dog. Built up my immunities slowly, and remembered never to touch my eyes after I'd been petting him. YallergiesMV, of course.

Also, (and see above about all pets have individual personalities) our dog Lucy is pain in the ass. I love her, but if I had to give her up, I would. She's temperamental, lazy, and not as good with the kids as I'd like her to be. I've had dogs in the past, though, that I would have walked through fire to keep with me.

I don't think it is unhealthy at all! That's why they call them man's best friend and all. I'm grateful to Toto too! People live longer that have that kind of unconditional love. It's a good thing.

Toto sounds like a great dog. I kinda miss my dogs even though, with the kids, they didn't get enough time from me. That's one of the main reasons we're not getting any new dogs for awhile. Once the kids are old enough to treat a dog correctly, we'll probably get another one. I also think cats can be great if you get a good one. Birds, on the other hand, I'm not a fan of.

Timelies!

I've never had to choose between a pet and a person, but if it became necessary it would be terribly difficult. And that's all I have to say about that.

DH got what he refers to as a conciliatory e-mail from the landlord yesterday. he (the landlord) apparently realised that we did in fact payfor the whole month and he was smoking crack to think we should have been much more gone than we were last week. So that's good, mostly because we will probably run into him at our friends' houses and it would be awkward to not be able to make small talk without seeething with rage. I'm still assuming that we won't see our deposit again. But no more fear of the eviction notice!

Boy, there was a lot of deep stuff happening in Bitches while I went off and had a massage, discovered a possible new show (House), had a decent night's sleep, etc.

Guns: Dad had a rifle. He grew up on a farm, took in extra money as a hunting "guide" (ie, escorted hunters around his dad's back 40 until they found a buck, shot it for them, and let them take it home as their kill), and killed dinner for his family with it more than once. When I was 15 he and a Sherrif friend of his took me and some other teenagers out to the country and taught us how to shoot. I learned how to use two different kinds of rifles and a couple of handguns. That was the last time I used one. Basically, it was a "here's how not to kill yourself with these things" session, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't shoot my own foot off by accident now, although I doubt I could hit anything else on purpose.

I also learned that guns were designed with one purpose in mind--to put pieces of metal in other things at great velocity. You may be defending yourself at the time, you may be getting dinner, you may be really unhappy with a row of tin cans, or you may be attemting to harm another person. But whether beautifully engraved with a walnut stock or mass produced out of the lowest class metal the manufacturer could get away with, guns were designed to cause damage. I could balance this in my head and see using a gun decoratively. (Or a sword, since that would be a similar mental juggling act.) There are tons of other things in a similar price range that I'd buy first, because that's how my aesthetics work, but if I had a DH who wanted to use an 18th century rifle as an accent piece over the fireplace, no problem. But I would totally get it if he was against it, because the associate between guns and hurting people is very clear in my mind. That's why many of them were made, especially military issue--to kill as effectively as possible. I'd understand if it over-road any other aspect of gun ownership in my partner's mind. (The kids issue wouldn't come up in my household, in as much as I will not be having children.)

Pets vs. Partners: I've been dumped by men and I've been dumped by my cat. At the moment I don't have either an SO or a pet in my life. I'm pretty sure I'll get a dog, but that's a lot easier to arrange than getting a lover, at least if you're me. Would I give up an established pet for a fella? I doubt it. It's sort of like books, my religious beliefs, and my human family. If the guy had trouble with my reading habits, my paganism, or the time I spent helping Dad with Mom's chemo I can't see going on a second date with him. This stuff is front and center in my life, and the pets would be, too. And if he waited until we were established lovers to tell me that he wanted me to sell my books/convert to Christianity/blow off my parents/give away my dog I would feel deeply betrayed.

That's good news, -t! I'm glad you have one less thing to worry about--moving's stressful enough.

I don't think Hec was saying that being close to a pet constituted an unhealthy attachment.

I think it all comes down to choices, and there are a lot of ways to figure out if something's going to be a sticking point before it gets to something serious. For example, JZ likely knew from the beginning that Hec was allergic to cats, and possibly knew in the back of her mind that if things were to move forward with Hec, that co-habitation would mean some tough choices. I may be assuming stuff that is stupid of me to assume. But that's what I've gleaned.

Likewise, vw, if you met someone who was allergic to Toto, or didn't like him (IMPOSSIBLE!!! stick to the allergies on this hypothetical) then I think you'd let him go sooner rather than later, as it's one of those incompatibilities that would make the two of you not suited for each other in the long run, like politics, religion, etc. (ETA - xpost with Calli!)

So, everyone's right, because it's all about personal choices.

Also, sometimes people suck hard, as watching the news will have you believe, and sometimes a better bet is the company of animals and not someone who, you know, sucks and hurts you in one of the multitudes of ways that we human hurt each other.

Nora, I'm glad you posted that. I was feeling like Hec's point was taken places he didn't intend it to go.