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Joyce: And what did you do tonight? Dawn: Irritated Giles. I'm beginning to get why Buffy likes it so much.

'Get It Done'

Spike's Bitches 23: We've mastered the power of positive giving up.  

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[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.

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Betsy HP - May 17, 2005 7:20:02 pm PDT #9667 of 10001
If I only had a brain...

This doesn't change the fact that I don't get to have this beautiful thing that I've been building up in my mind and looking forward to for ages, but I'm only sad and not angry now.

I think this is a case of "the king may die, or the horse may die, or I may die, or the horse may talk"; by the time you've achieved your dream, your husband may well have gotten used to the idea.

DavidS - May 17, 2005 7:20:50 pm PDT #9668 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Also: Go Erin with the details! You scrumped with a young critter.

§ ita § - May 17, 2005 7:21:49 pm PDT #9669 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

you have to concede your positive against your partner's negative

So (and I'm chronically single, so bear with me) they don't have to examine their negative? I mean, no always wins? There's no sucking it up from the other side?

Strix - May 17, 2005 7:23:06 pm PDT #9670 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I sure did!

Or he scrumped me, or something. "Scrumped." That's a new one.

I may never walk right again. But that's...kinda ok.

DavidS - May 17, 2005 7:25:56 pm PDT #9671 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

So (and I'm chronically single, so bear with me) they don't have to examine their negative? I mean, no always wins? There's no sucking it up from the other side?

Not quite. You're completely able to raise the issue and try to get your partner to reconsider their objection. Sometimes they'll go, "Huh. You are so right." But rarely. Ultimately you have to respect their feelings even when they seem CRAXY. Bottom line (my opinion only) you have to privilege the relationship over your wants, but that doesn't mean you can't advocate for what you want.

And some issues are non-negotiable (cf. JZ giving up beloved cats to move in with allergic me.)

Eddie - May 17, 2005 7:26:24 pm PDT #9672 of 10001
Your tag here.

Erin's new tag: "scrumptious".

DavidS - May 17, 2005 7:27:56 pm PDT #9673 of 10001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

Erin's new tag: "scrumptious".

She's all that and a bag of chips.

§ ita § - May 17, 2005 7:28:26 pm PDT #9674 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Ultimately you have to respect their feelings even when they seem CRAXY

And they have to do the same, right? That's the part I don't get. If Mr. W came to you with his side of exactly this divide, would you tell him to sit tight until he gets what he wants, because he's on the negative side, or would you tell him to think about how important this is for Susan, how much it means to him, and that he should respect the priorities of the woman he married, even when they seem CRAXY?

Cass - May 17, 2005 7:28:29 pm PDT #9675 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.

I may never walk right again. But that's...kinda ok.
That sounds ... kinda ok.

Anyone here tried Zelnorm?
What? PDR? Eh, I have Buffista power!

Strix - May 17, 2005 7:28:46 pm PDT #9676 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

Hee, Eddie.

Scrumptious cleavagey slutbomb, yo!

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