Erin! Those FUCKOS! I can't even imagine how beyond pissed I would be in your situation. GRRRRRRR!

So, she's coming over...the place is a mess...I don't have the presents I wanted to get...and I just feel like a totally and completely inadequate friend.

She's not coming over to spend time with your floors, and she's not coming over to see what kind of loot she can score. She's coming over to hang out with you, her FRIEND, who is the antithesis of inadequate. You're sticking by her in a very tough situation, and I'm sure that's more valuable to her than all the Swiffers and diamonds in the world.

Don't stress; just enjoy the company.

Edited to correct my modifiers. Is there a local chapter of Pedants Anonymous?

I'm just afraid she's going to get here and I'm going to burst into tears. Great birthday, huh?

Go to your local Fredricks of Hollywood or Love Pantry and try on the corsets there to get an idea of how that one would fit before you buy it. (There should be corsets very similar to that one at both those stores.)

Also, frankly, these aren't really worth the money if you're looking for any sort of actual control. The boning is light and flimsy, and will cut into your flesh, and the construction is poor enough that the item will fall apart after a wearing or two.

Signed, learned the hard way years ago.

Ok. Back to trying to find an underblouse-y thing that I really like.

vw, I agree with everyone else about your house. She's coming to spend time with her friend. She doesn't care about your housekeeping. Would you care if her house wasn't spotless? If it were me, I'd want you to nap so you would be a bit rested for our evening of fun rather than worry abut the house.

vw, it's not like the both of you haven't been through some heavy stuff, and some of it together. Tears are nothing to be ashamed of, or afraid of, either. When she gets there, if you guys decide to go out, go to the chocolate place together. Ask her what she likes. Buy it for her then, and make her a present of it. See? Easy.

She's a friend. She knows you. It'll be fine.

I'll bet my house makes yours look immaculate.

Ok. And hell, after the last couple of weeks, if she disowns me over some dirty dishes and some dust, well...

Sometimes post-birthday presents are even better because it makes your birthday last longer and you aren't expecting them.

This is totally true. vw, I wouldn't worry about it. She must know how stressful things have been for you lately, and I doubt very much that she'll think any less of you for being frazzled or having a dirty apartment. The important thing is that you're spending time with her on her birthday and showing her that you care about her. I'm a total birthday HOR, but it's all about the recognition of the fabulosity of me; the getting or not getting of presents (or the getting of presents in a timely fashion) really doesn't matter much at all. I'll bet that J. feel similarly, and will be really appreciative of a later birthday gift that has more time and thought put into it.