Wash ,'War Stories'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
vw, it's not like the both of you haven't been through some heavy stuff, and some of it together. Tears are nothing to be ashamed of, or afraid of, either. When she gets there, if you guys decide to go out, go to the chocolate place together. Ask her what she likes. Buy it for her then, and make her a present of it. See? Easy.
She's a friend. She knows you. It'll be fine.
I'll bet my house makes yours look immaculate.
Ok. And hell, after the last couple of weeks, if she disowns me over some dirty dishes and some dust, well...
Sometimes post-birthday presents are even better because it makes your birthday last longer and you aren't expecting them.
This is totally true. vw, I wouldn't worry about it. She must know how stressful things have been for you lately, and I doubt very much that she'll think any less of you for being frazzled or having a dirty apartment. The important thing is that you're spending time with her on her birthday and showing her that you care about her. I'm a total birthday HOR, but it's all about the recognition of the fabulosity of me; the getting or not getting of presents (or the getting of presents in a timely fashion) really doesn't matter much at all. I'll bet that J. feel similarly, and will be really appreciative of a later birthday gift that has more time and thought put into it.
For the record, I do have a present, so it won't be a totally giftless evening.
ETA: I just want to make it special, and I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job. But, I'm trying to let it go...see...this is me trying really, really hard.
Oh, goodness! I can't even do that part right. Maybe the hampers of dirty clothes should be moved out of the kitchen.
In the hamper counts as put away.
I just want to make it special, and I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job.
vw, it is special, because she's going to be with you. My favorite birthday was one where I didn't get a single present, but my broke and wonderful college friends came over and we ate things that weren't good for us and drank cheap beer. We were all together, without outside pressures. J will appreciate you not making a fuss.
Think about what makes it more special, vw, an immaculate apartment or a sense of closeness and comfort? The more relaxed you are, the more fun she'll have.
There is an old saying about hostessing I try to live by-- "Never complain, never explain." Complaining about things going wrong just makes guests have to praise them and explaining makes them have to excuse them, and really, it doesn't matter. I still sometimes repeat "never complain, never explain" to myself as we are waiting for guests and there are dogbones on the floor or the desk is covered with papers. Just be there in the moment, ready to love and enjoy the other person, and that's what they'll remember.
"never complain, never explain"
However? If the entree exploded or something, if you can get over the shock and make it funny, it will endear you to your guests far more than just letting them deal with your wide-eyed expression of suppressed horror. Not that I would know anything about that...