I know Dad doesn't do these things on purpose, but he's so oblivious to stuff. Yesterday he tried poaching fish (it was actually pretty good) but he was going to let it cook until the rice was done. The brown rice. He seemed surprised when I told him that once the fish are done they need to be taken out so they won't over cook.

The front right burner on the stove doesn't work right, which doesn't bother him at all. Several years ago down at our trailer on the beach, the stove slowly died. The first the oven went, then one burner at a time. Dad did nothing until the remaining burner caught on fire when a guest was using it.

The same thing with the dryer and the microwave. Well, those didn't catch on fire, but they didn't get replaced until they were well and truly dead.

My mom just bought me beautiful tulips for my new living room! They're beautiful! Soon I will have pictures of them in my new living room. I know you all just can't wait.

ION, have we heard anything from Nora? The whole house offer/acceptance thing is nerve wracking - I hope it goes smoothly!

We put in the offer and should hear back tonight. We put a pretty low offer in to start with, and are expecting a counter-offer, by 9:30pm.

Got a message when we got home saying that the listing realtor says that maybe the sellers aren't as motivated as we thought. But, you know, it's in her best interest to have us think that.

vw, tulips are my favorites!!!

bid-ma for Nora & Tom.

We're off to take DH to the airport. This sucks.

Nobody I know who's given birth actually wrote out a plan.

I had a plan, too, though it was about preferences rather than The Way It Must Be. I'm glad we did, not because we got the birth we wanted (ha!), but because I could tell the staff were being careful and considerate about explaining all our options whenever we had to abandon part of the plan. Also, I had those strange issues WRT touch during the second half of pregnancy, so I talked about those in the birth plan. That way I avoided anyone other than DH touching me to offer encouragement (if they'd tried, I probably would've hit them), and the staff were very good about telling me first and explaining why when they had to touch me for medical reasons.

The one thing I'm still upset about when I reflect back on the birth is something that wasn't in the plan because I took it so for granted that I couldn't imagine it'd need to be there--namely, freedom to choose whichever positions felt most comfortable for labor and birth. I never had that, and it made me angry and bitter in a way that none of the other things that were out of my control did.

I wonder if it's a problem I've still got some lingering bitterness a year on, and what I should do about it...

Dammit, I forgot to sleep again. Spent all night learning how to modify Livejournal page styles instead.

If you are still feel angy and bitter about it, perhaps you should consider writeing a letter to the hospital about it to relieve your feelings. Then wait a month before deciding whether to mail it, and if you do, revise it to ask for something specific. But write the first version with no goal other than express fully everything about it that makes you angry. Don't know if this would work for you, but it sometimes works for me.

I never had a written birth plan. Jake ended up a C-section after being induced, Ben was a V-BAC, and Sara was, too. With each, there were eventualities I probably should have thought about beforehand, but I have no real horror stories. After a certain point, for me, it's just GET IT OUT, no matter how.

freedom to choose whichever positions felt most comfortable for labor and birth. I never had that

Would they not let you move around, or switch positions? Did they tell you why not?

And TypoBoy's idea is a wise one -- writing that kind of no holds barred letter can get it all out, just for you.

I had anger about Ben's birth, and didn't know how deep it was, until I watched the (of all things) Mad About You episode, where Jamie gives birth. Scott thought I was crying because I'm sentimental (which I am), but there were parts were it just brought stuff back to me.

Basically, everything they said to do in the birthing classes--stay on your feet as long as possible; don't lie down on your back, etc.--they wouldn't let me do during labor. Plus the pulse-ox monitor (finger thingie) and oxygen were pissing me off, and they weren't giving me good enough information so that I understood why I had to have it on.

Birthing is hard. Even the loveliest, easiest births (mine were very hard, but relatively quick) are hard, scary, painful life-and-death work.

Would they not let you move around, or switch positions? Did they tell you why not?

Because I was induced, I had to have continuous fetal heart rate monitoring. In theory, this shouldn't have reduced my pre-epidural mobility, because it was a wireless monitor. But in practice, I had to be lying down or seated leaning back for it to work, because if I leaned forward (which is what I wanted to do--either sit/squat leaning forward or kneel draped over the birthing ball), they lost the heartbeat. I couldn't go for extensive walks for the same reason--even though they had monitor sensors throughout the unit, standing up meant losing the heartbeat.

As for pushing, the issue as I understand it is that lying down was the best position for a baby stuck right at the cervix like Annabel was forever. Problem is, no one had warned me that could happen--I thought lying down to push was this outdated thing that only happened if you had a bad, old-fashioned OB who cared more about his convenience than what worked best for you--and I still kinda wonder if it would've worked better and maybe I could've avoided forceps if they'd let me try sitting up or squatting, physics notwithstanding, because I was just so upset to be on my back that it created a mental/emotional block.

Writing the letter is a good idea, I think. Even if I never send it, it might help me figure out whether I want to go with the same practice if we have another kid. Because my prenatal care couldn't have been better, but I haven't worked out to my own satisfaction whether the L&D experience would've been the same at any hospital with any caregivers between bedrest having reduced my capacity for endurance, the induction, and Annabel's slight malposition, or if there's something that could've been done to make it work better.