I had anger about Ben's birth, and didn't know how deep it was, until I watched the (of all things) Mad About You episode, where Jamie gives birth. Scott thought I was crying because I'm sentimental (which I am), but there were parts were it just brought stuff back to me.

Basically, everything they said to do in the birthing classes--stay on your feet as long as possible; don't lie down on your back, etc.--they wouldn't let me do during labor. Plus the pulse-ox monitor (finger thingie) and oxygen were pissing me off, and they weren't giving me good enough information so that I understood why I had to have it on.

Birthing is hard. Even the loveliest, easiest births (mine were very hard, but relatively quick) are hard, scary, painful life-and-death work.

Would they not let you move around, or switch positions? Did they tell you why not?

Because I was induced, I had to have continuous fetal heart rate monitoring. In theory, this shouldn't have reduced my pre-epidural mobility, because it was a wireless monitor. But in practice, I had to be lying down or seated leaning back for it to work, because if I leaned forward (which is what I wanted to do--either sit/squat leaning forward or kneel draped over the birthing ball), they lost the heartbeat. I couldn't go for extensive walks for the same reason--even though they had monitor sensors throughout the unit, standing up meant losing the heartbeat.

As for pushing, the issue as I understand it is that lying down was the best position for a baby stuck right at the cervix like Annabel was forever. Problem is, no one had warned me that could happen--I thought lying down to push was this outdated thing that only happened if you had a bad, old-fashioned OB who cared more about his convenience than what worked best for you--and I still kinda wonder if it would've worked better and maybe I could've avoided forceps if they'd let me try sitting up or squatting, physics notwithstanding, because I was just so upset to be on my back that it created a mental/emotional block.

Writing the letter is a good idea, I think. Even if I never send it, it might help me figure out whether I want to go with the same practice if we have another kid. Because my prenatal care couldn't have been better, but I haven't worked out to my own satisfaction whether the L&D experience would've been the same at any hospital with any caregivers between bedrest having reduced my capacity for endurance, the induction, and Annabel's slight malposition, or if there's something that could've been done to make it work better.

L&D experience would've been the same at any hospital with any caregivers between bedrest having reduced my capacity for endurance, the induction, and Annabel's slight malposition, or if there's something that could've been done to make it work better.

I think the induction really messed things up. I had a lot of the same problems because I was induced. Since I couldn't walk around or move the way I wanted to, I lay in bed on my back for 13 hours of back labor before they finally did a C-section. I was ready to kill by then. And I don't think they could have done it any differently. Induced labors are of the suck.

Even though the recovery was longer than I would have lliked, I didn;t mind having the C-section. It gave Joe more time with us and since in the hospital he had to do all of the changing and such, he really got to bond with Em the first few days that he might not have gotten otherwise.

Offer~ma Nora.

I was fine with not having a plan because I had such trust in the whole OB practice, especially my OB, and I already knew the practice's philosophy WRT epidurals.

It turned out to be a much more medical birth than I could have possibly anticipated, what with pitocin, fetal monitor, and whatnot. I was pretty much stuck in the bed for the duration. But hey, it was a healthy birth. That was my goal. That said, I am looking forward to going into labor on my own this time as I think it will feel shorter and less tiring if I get to spend part of it at home.

mostly about wanting to nurse (which didn't happen) and wanting the baby to sleep in

This seems to vary by hospital. My hospital was very PRO nursing & I was encouraged to nurse Frances within hours of her birth and I took care of all her feedings in the hospital. Meanwhile my friend was allowed to let the baby sleep in, but the maternity nurses were always wisking her baby away and trying to give her a bottle.

Who wants to see living room pictures? [link]

They're not great, 'cause the sun is coming through all of the windows, but it gives you an idea. I'll probably take more pictures tonight. The first couple are of Bastet trying to figure out how to get to the hanging tulips. It was quite cute.

I thought lying down to push was this outdated thing that only happened if you had a bad, old-fashioned OB who cared more about his convenience than what worked best for you

I think this kind of doctor is a rarity nowadays. I honestly think everyone involved, be it an OB, a midwife, and L&D nurses are there to make it as safe and easy for the mother and baby as nature allows them.

I'm all for education. I had vague ideas of what I wanted to happen. And I went to childbirth education classes so if they said they wanted to do an internal monitor on the baby or something like that, I'd know exactly what they meant and what that entailed. But for me, writing something down and handing it to another person is kind of like setting it in stone. I'm not anti-plan. I'm just more pro-flexibilty.

mostly about wanting to nurse (which didn't happen) and wanting the baby to sleep in

I had someone in the L&D room helping me nurse immediately, which was nice and encouraging.

It was kind of weird because I actually expected more instructions on what to do but my hospital was hands-off. Whatever you wanted to do, they were prepared to do it and didn't question it or make you feel bad.

Wow, that is looking just gorgeous, vw! I love those windows.

vw, those windows are amazing!!!! Very pretty. And poor, foiled Bastet.