vw, tulips are my favorites!!!

bid-ma for Nora & Tom.

We're off to take DH to the airport. This sucks.

Nobody I know who's given birth actually wrote out a plan.

I had a plan, too, though it was about preferences rather than The Way It Must Be. I'm glad we did, not because we got the birth we wanted (ha!), but because I could tell the staff were being careful and considerate about explaining all our options whenever we had to abandon part of the plan. Also, I had those strange issues WRT touch during the second half of pregnancy, so I talked about those in the birth plan. That way I avoided anyone other than DH touching me to offer encouragement (if they'd tried, I probably would've hit them), and the staff were very good about telling me first and explaining why when they had to touch me for medical reasons.

The one thing I'm still upset about when I reflect back on the birth is something that wasn't in the plan because I took it so for granted that I couldn't imagine it'd need to be there--namely, freedom to choose whichever positions felt most comfortable for labor and birth. I never had that, and it made me angry and bitter in a way that none of the other things that were out of my control did.

I wonder if it's a problem I've still got some lingering bitterness a year on, and what I should do about it...

Dammit, I forgot to sleep again. Spent all night learning how to modify Livejournal page styles instead.

If you are still feel angy and bitter about it, perhaps you should consider writeing a letter to the hospital about it to relieve your feelings. Then wait a month before deciding whether to mail it, and if you do, revise it to ask for something specific. But write the first version with no goal other than express fully everything about it that makes you angry. Don't know if this would work for you, but it sometimes works for me.

I never had a written birth plan. Jake ended up a C-section after being induced, Ben was a V-BAC, and Sara was, too. With each, there were eventualities I probably should have thought about beforehand, but I have no real horror stories. After a certain point, for me, it's just GET IT OUT, no matter how.

freedom to choose whichever positions felt most comfortable for labor and birth. I never had that

Would they not let you move around, or switch positions? Did they tell you why not?

And TypoBoy's idea is a wise one -- writing that kind of no holds barred letter can get it all out, just for you.

I had anger about Ben's birth, and didn't know how deep it was, until I watched the (of all things) Mad About You episode, where Jamie gives birth. Scott thought I was crying because I'm sentimental (which I am), but there were parts were it just brought stuff back to me.

Basically, everything they said to do in the birthing classes--stay on your feet as long as possible; don't lie down on your back, etc.--they wouldn't let me do during labor. Plus the pulse-ox monitor (finger thingie) and oxygen were pissing me off, and they weren't giving me good enough information so that I understood why I had to have it on.

Birthing is hard. Even the loveliest, easiest births (mine were very hard, but relatively quick) are hard, scary, painful life-and-death work.

Would they not let you move around, or switch positions? Did they tell you why not?

Because I was induced, I had to have continuous fetal heart rate monitoring. In theory, this shouldn't have reduced my pre-epidural mobility, because it was a wireless monitor. But in practice, I had to be lying down or seated leaning back for it to work, because if I leaned forward (which is what I wanted to do--either sit/squat leaning forward or kneel draped over the birthing ball), they lost the heartbeat. I couldn't go for extensive walks for the same reason--even though they had monitor sensors throughout the unit, standing up meant losing the heartbeat.

As for pushing, the issue as I understand it is that lying down was the best position for a baby stuck right at the cervix like Annabel was forever. Problem is, no one had warned me that could happen--I thought lying down to push was this outdated thing that only happened if you had a bad, old-fashioned OB who cared more about his convenience than what worked best for you--and I still kinda wonder if it would've worked better and maybe I could've avoided forceps if they'd let me try sitting up or squatting, physics notwithstanding, because I was just so upset to be on my back that it created a mental/emotional block.

Writing the letter is a good idea, I think. Even if I never send it, it might help me figure out whether I want to go with the same practice if we have another kid. Because my prenatal care couldn't have been better, but I haven't worked out to my own satisfaction whether the L&D experience would've been the same at any hospital with any caregivers between bedrest having reduced my capacity for endurance, the induction, and Annabel's slight malposition, or if there's something that could've been done to make it work better.

L&D experience would've been the same at any hospital with any caregivers between bedrest having reduced my capacity for endurance, the induction, and Annabel's slight malposition, or if there's something that could've been done to make it work better.

I think the induction really messed things up. I had a lot of the same problems because I was induced. Since I couldn't walk around or move the way I wanted to, I lay in bed on my back for 13 hours of back labor before they finally did a C-section. I was ready to kill by then. And I don't think they could have done it any differently. Induced labors are of the suck.

Even though the recovery was longer than I would have lliked, I didn;t mind having the C-section. It gave Joe more time with us and since in the hospital he had to do all of the changing and such, he really got to bond with Em the first few days that he might not have gotten otherwise.

Offer~ma Nora.