Question to the baby-having:

Are parents still being told to be worried about cuddling their children too much, about making too much of a fuss if the kidlet is dinged or scared etc.? I've heard arguments saying that "coddling" the child will make it harder for them to go out and experience the world, but I have a hard time imagining a self-respecting ten-year-old afraid to leave his mother's side.

Or is the operative word "self-respecting"?

I have been told that it is impossible to spoil a child under the age of 6 months. I do, however, let her cry a bit if she's not being held and she needs something. Sometimes, she sticks her fingers in her mouth and is fine. Other times, she freaks the hell out and gets plucked up quickly. For me, I'd rather she know that if she needs me, I'll be there.

None of that made sense.

connie, I've only been urged to NOT panic when I worry about O. As for cuddling, nobody's ever warned me against it. Like that would work, anyway, since I can't defy the Blue Eyes of Doom.

I think the main point in the literature I've read is that children need to explore and experience and sometimes that experience leads to bumps and bruises. I do think my pediatrician actually said, when I see a toddler WITHOUT scratches, bumps and bruises (not abuse related injuries), I think maybe the parent may be a bit overprotective. He just calmly warned me that it was going to happen no matter how much I wanted or tried to prevent it.

I do think kids take their cues from the parents. If parents are nervous and panicky, then I think kids might be less adventurous. Then again, I know some parents with daredevil kids that have a right to be nervous.

We watched in horror as my aunt turned her oldest into an oversensitive, neurotic freak. He didn't speak until he was 3.

And what Aimee said. Picking up a crying infant isn't going to spoil them.

Although once Owen kept crying (he was about a month old or so), it was 2 a.m. and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I was so frustrated and worried that I needed a few minutes to collect my bearings so I put him down in his crib. He quieted immediately. I think he just needed his own space and I didn't catch on fast enough.

I think he just needed his own space and I didn't catch on fast enough.

Em is exactly like this. Sometimes, Mommy needs to bugger off.

I have a hard time imagining a self-respecting ten-year-old afraid to leave his mother's side.

I happen to know at least one. The kid has PRO. BLEMS. Whether that's related to excessive coddling, I have no idea, but there you go.

At our housewarming, 2 of Alfredo's friends and their 6-month-old child were there. They're a great couple, very energetic and outgoing and funny, and the baby - referred to as "The Flea" - loved Jilli's skirts. However, he had a tendency to crawl very fast around our low coffeetable, and I was concerned he'd bonk his head on the corner. *I* fretted more than Virginia (his mom) did, and eventually she just looked at me, and I stopped, concerned. She said, basically, "He might bump his head. It'll startle him, and maybe make him cry a bit, but he's not capable of hurting himself, and he needs to figure this stuff out on his own. And I'm watching him, too, so stop it, Alex."

:)

Connie, the stuff I've read (which is to say, the five-page summary about attachment theory in my human development class) says, essentially, yeah it's possible to cuddle them too much, but really only if you cuddle them more than they want. The research suggests that if you follow their lead, they'll be okay.