So, the secret to my winning is to make all the cheetahs wear blindfolds or blinkers. Check.

I saw a TV show once that proved how bad lions' sense of smell is by dangling a raw steak on a string above a lion's head. The poor dumb lion just sat there, sunning itself, till the person doing the dangling finally bonked the lion on the head with the steak to make it notice its dinner.

For any Police fans out there --

This morning, on KROQ, they had Sting as an in-studio guest. He chatted for a while, answering questions from callers and generally yaking it up. He was quite amusing. He also played three Police tunes live in the studio. He's apparently kicking off a tour of small clubs and university venues, and will generally be playing a mix of Police tunes along with his post-Police stuff.

I sat in my car for 45 minutes waiting for the live session, and boy was it worth it. It seriously kicked ass. I cranked the radio and sang along at the top of my lungs to Spirits in the Material World, Message in a Bottle, and Demolition Man, and beat my hands raw on my steering wheel in time with the wonderful, frenetic percussion of Josh Freise, channeling Stuart Copeland.

This all just to say that if you like the Police, try to get tickets to one of these shows. I know I want to go. He kicks off the tour tomorrow night in San Jose.

For any Police fans out there --

Ooooh! Will have to look for info. Thanks.

You know, there is just a TV series just waiting for Joss, "Nutty The Cheetah Slayer".

And in my head, it's "Nutty Thah Cheetah Slayah." And her sidekick is played by Matt Damon. "So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my slayah, take her job and give it to her sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby cheetah, hit the hash pipe and join the Watcher's Academy?"

I told the Cheetahs there was a slayer in town, and this was their reaction:

[link]

Lazy cheetahs.

And her sidekick is played by Matt Damon.

Yes, please. Double-please, if he comes with his own 3rd base box tickets to Fenway.

Yeah, but they don't know that Nutty is the Chosen One. The one born with the strength and snark to fight the cheetahs, to stop the spread of their spots and the lengend of their toughness.

Psst. Nutty wants to go to 3rd base with Matt Damon. Pass it on. </twelve>

Ooooh! Will have to look for info. Thanks.

Sadly, they don't seem to have put up a recording of the at kroq(dot)com. I'll keep checking, just in case, but I'm not holding out too much hope. They may also (hope, hope, hope) sell some recordings of the session on iTunes, as they did for a fund raiser when Incubus sang Roxanne, accompanied by Andy Stuart and Stuart Copeland, and KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas (still available the last time I checked, and damned worth the $0.99 price, too).

Psst. Nutty wants to go to 3rd base with Matt Damon. Pass it on.

Now don't start rumors like that, by the time the story gets to the sixth person, people will be saying that Nutty was going to 3rd base with Kevin Bacon.