I want a black boot-cut Blah-de-Blah pant.

Those would look nice on you, too. I have them in sage.

My table knives have serrated bits near the ends of them -- I can cut meat without needing a separate steak knife. As for scissors, the pair at my desk (actually, a good Fiskars pair, worthy of fabric-scissorhood), has a point only marginally more sharp than a pen and a blade that could cut me eventually, but doesn't draw blood on average pressure.

(For desk weapons, I much prefer the letter-opener, which is a tiny not-sharp-at-all sword.)

Terry was brought on board by Schiavo's parents, who hoped he could mobilize Christian fundamentalist support for their daughter.

People baffle me. Why would you want Christian Fundamentalists on your side? Especially if you are, as I understand the Schaivos are, a Catholic, as Catholics are otherwise pretty high up on the Fundie hit list?

I suppose you would want them there because they share your beliefs (which is something else that kind of baffles, but I digress), but I must just be a nasty cynic, because I think they only wanted Christian Fundamentalists on their side because they get what they want most of the time now that the Bushies are in power.

I know this post will probably upset lots of people, but frankly, I'm tired of silencing my opinions just because Christians don't like them. This Schiavo thing has really pushed me over the edge. There is too much religion in the public discourse these days, and I'm tired of it. Where is my religious freedom, which I define as freedom from being harassed and harangued by everyone else's religion?

I am not going to embark upon a lifestyle of cutting to prove a point, but if you handed me a scissor or a table knife and told me to stab someone, the table knife'd end up in my pocket at best. I'd rather fight with my fists.

Other desk weapons include heavy objects to throw (stapler!) and I could blind villains by throwing cocoa mix into their eyes. Okay. Is it any wonder that my favorite weapon is a sharp tongue??

Skipped. Head hurts. Can't form complete sentences. Need stapler for possible brainechtomy.

Need stapler for possible brainechtomy.

You need to be drunk before trying a stapler brainechtomy.

Need stapler for possible brainechtomy.

I'd suggest you use a single scissor blade for the ectomy, and save the stapler for closing the wound afterwards. Desktop surgery is fun!

Okay. Is it any wonder that my favorite weapon is a sharp tongue??

So, you're going to kill the cheetah by licking it?

This is a good plan. I can even use the sharpie here to mark the point of incision.