How does a Dead Crack Whore differ from a Dead Heroin Whore or, for that matter, a Deceased Laudanum Soiled Dove?

Dead Crack Whore is easier and funner to say than Dead Heroin Whore. A Deceased Laudanum Soiled Dove is a totally different creature, and much prettier. With a much more artful application of blood. And porcelain skin. And pretty hair.

Jesse, it was all Ali.

Aww. That's nice. Seriously, I feel all warm inside, like I've done a good deed.

Lee, I need more specific requirements about what you want.

I'll see what I can find, Allyson.

Brave woman, letting them use all those antiquated tools.

This is actually the gig of the inventor of cat-stacking -- he has an old wheelbarrow full of extremely beat-up garden and kitchen tools, with a big sign that reads MAD MUGLEY'S CART OF BARGAIN SURGERY. There is no end to his slightly-evil genius.

Based on nothing more than an examination of antique dental tools, I'm betting that gynecological tools of a similar age are surprisingly modern-looking because human physiology hasn't changed that much, so there's only so many ways to shape 'em.

Allyson:

This one looks okay, and has hardwood floors, and is less than $800. Also, Ruby can come: [link]

That's the only one that has a picture.

The rest, all less than $800, but none mention square footage:

[link]

[link]

Bachelor with "amazing" view: [link]

"Charming," so probably small: [link]

This one is perfect for students, so who knows?: [link]

The Pope is now on a respirator. Man, does it suck to be him. Who is going to have the guts to pull the plug on the Pope?

Timelies all!

Feh. Snow.

Congrats -t! (Also, I am not it, either)

Alibelle, you are a wonder. Oh, those pretty hardwood floors! And cat-positive landlords! And just a one-month plus $20 deposit!

::weeps with envy::

I'm thinking "perfect for students" = "crappy," but it's possible I'm overly cynical about apartment hunting, after some of the crap people showed me.

Poor JP. Dying sucks.

JZ, you're making me feel super appreciated today. Thank you very much! Just so you know, I, ah, appreciate it!

People lie. None of 'em are in Los Feliz. They're all scary hollywood places. THEY LIE!!!