Oh, no, oh, no! Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord, spare me college boys in love.

Dr. Walsh ,'Potential'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Amy - Mar 29, 2005 11:41:14 am PST #929 of 10001
Because books.

Wow. The drabbles this week are really hard, but so good. Here's mine.

Heaven and/or Hell

The minister speaks of heaven as if it’s a comfort. Staring at the tiny white casket, I don’t believe it.

Angels aren’t for two-year-olds. Ants marching through warm grass, pudding gooey and cold between his fingers, the satisfying crash of a Tonka truck against a knicked baseboard—that’s what a two-year-old wants.

His mother’s hands, his mother’s voice, a hushed whisper against his hair in the middle of the night. His daddy, stunned into laughter when he splashes soapy water out of the tub. His daddy’s shoulders, a rocking saddle way up high.

In heaven, he’ll be all alone.


Susan W. - Mar 29, 2005 11:45:35 am PST #930 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Aw, man, AmyLiz. That's a gut punch.


Amy - Mar 29, 2005 12:31:34 pm PST #931 of 10001
Because books.

It was my nephew. God, about fifteen years ago now. It was awful.


deborah grabien - Mar 29, 2005 12:51:35 pm PST #932 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Amy, GAH.

Laura, looking at the first one, and I'm wondering, is there a set that requires X amount of words for the layout? Because I think it could use a small amount of condensing. But if that leaves you word-shy on count for production, that's a whole 'nother thang.


Laura - Mar 29, 2005 12:59:07 pm PST #933 of 10001
Our wings are not tired.

No word requirement Deb. I just aimed at a length short enough for an executive to read but long enough to include my points. No doubt I can condense, but I will have to step back at least a couple days to see where.


Ginger - Mar 29, 2005 1:09:12 pm PST #934 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

Laura, I was going to comment on the newsletters, but it's a little difficult since they're in the form of a graphic. Is there a reason for that?


deborah grabien - Mar 29, 2005 1:17:02 pm PST #935 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Damn, Laura's format doesn't let me copy and paste.

OK. A couple of small things to make it even crisper than it is, from link 1:

You have the title, dominant: Document Management Digest. Right below it, the question, "What's so great about document management?" And the text immediately following is "The title above was a question posed by my aunt in response to my bragging about our document management system."

I got a bit lost. The phrase itself, Document Management, appears three times before I could catch my breath visually, so to speak. Also, that first sentence is a long one.

So I'd make it a bit more concise, to keep the eye engaged: "What's So Great About Document Management?" - That question was posed by my aunt, after listening to me brag about our document management system."

The basis kept me reading - literally, small tweaks to keep the attention centered.

Just my take.


Laura - Mar 29, 2005 1:24:55 pm PST #936 of 10001
Our wings are not tired.

Laura, I was going to comment on the newsletters, but it's a little difficult since they're in the form of a graphic. Is there a reason for that?

I composed them in Publisher and saved them as png's to pop them into the page template. I would happily e you the text versions if that would be easier for the copy and pasting. I appreciate the comments so much because I wrote them rather rapidly and don't seem to be able to edit them while it is so fresh.

"What's So Great About Document Management?" - That question was posed by my aunt, after listening to me brag about our document management system."

I can see where ... after listening to me brag about our system... would work just as well without the duplication.

insent Ginger and Deb (with thanks)


deborah grabien - Mar 29, 2005 1:30:06 pm PST #937 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

You betcha! Techspeak is not my strongest point, but I've edited a truckload of it for Nic, who did a whole bunch of marketing and engineering brochures for freelance money in the past.


Laura - Mar 29, 2005 1:31:13 pm PST #938 of 10001
Our wings are not tired.

I sent just the text portions, but you will miss my favorite part - the cartoons!