ONE WORD, AN ESCAPE, NEVER! timothy cox
if only there was a word
one word for all i feel
the one word to erase it all
like she wants
like i want it to come slow ever so slow
and as it comes let it be sudden
and invisible to all that i feel
just one touch,
one touch and she'll heal
but i will never
so all is lost forever
the last take
if only it could
make me feel so real
no more sidelines
not another deal
just needs to be right
for both in the light
as the curtains are drawn
and the set come crashing
crashing into a heavy fall
hoping to help us all
nothing will ever help
ever stop
ever heal
for the pain that encircles my head
not in the form of a halo
but of heat waves of confusion
my brain exploding soon
but nothing will ever help
and as the feeling of nothingness
and of life being nothingness begins to slow
a new feeling sets in and i know it will only get worse
there is but one hope of a future
beyond what just came and passed
and it is that it might come again
and let it be that when it may return
it returns not for me
but for the lost soul who cant find her future
and doesnt want it
and therefore doesnt deserve it
pity on those who want to end the suffering
but pity more on those who want to go back in time
for doing so will only make them have to relive the
very moment they must escape
in life
in death
in anything that matters and all that doesn't
there is no escape
no pain no ending to anything
including this never-ending poem that wakes and
sleeps inside of me from day to day
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AN EDITED VERSION OF THIS NEXT POEM IS BEING PUBLISHED BY POETRY.COM
The Curse
When the neighborhood forgets its best,
And brings out all its worst,
He lets it out,
With just one shout,
And falls into the curse.
It takes him places he couldn't dream,
It takes him back and forth.
He goes to Hell,
Lives in a cell,
And learns of what he's worth.
Just one week in Hell is all it takes,
To bring out this kid's hate.
For his mother,
For her brother,
Everyone in the state.
Then eight hours for seven more days,
As the end of the walk.
He goes to school.
He acts all cool.
Then kids begin to talk.
Almost two years more and still on pills.
Taking them now and then.
He's feeling fine,
Showing no sign,
Of needing medicine.
Until the woman who begot him,
Rips his support away.
His loving aunt,
Who now he can't,
Talk to on a bad day.
Inside himself is three months of pain.
Wanting to restore life,
Maybe to kill,
He pops a pill
And cuts his wrist by knife.
At just a single moment's notice,
She's given back to him.
Nothing is right.
Can't be that night.
When it is all so dim.
So the curse shall always stay with him.
It will define the boy.
It will remain.
He'll be insane.