before I could stop myself I snapped out "You'll learn."

Heh heh heh. I do tech support over chats/IM, and it's wonderfully freeing to be able to mutter, "My god, you jackass, who let you out of the house, much less access to a computer" or "Just do what I told you to do, already! We've done this step five times, why do you need me to walk you through it again! Rats would have learned this process by now! Rhubarb would have learned this process by now!"

BWAH!!!!

I actually did have to pull out that phrase with the bank, but in my defense, they were trying to give me $75 when their screw up cost me around $500.

Well, there are times when the service is actually unacceptable. Like the time a venue double-booked two parties and said we could both have our parties at the same time in the same space. NSM.

My favorite is when I'm at the restaurant and we're busy, there's clearly a line of people waiting for tables, and some jackass will just sit down at a dirty table and get offended when we tell them that they need to move. Or they get offended that they haven't had any service, when how the fuck do we know you're there, dude? We didn't seat you!

Yeah, I love when people get snotty because they failed to game the system.

"But, look...I cheated fair and square. I thought I was rather clever."

"Well, fucktard, you were not. Now please move, or I'ma dump this dishtub full of half-chewed salad and cigarette butts all over your nice suit."

Or they get offended that they haven't had any service, when how the fuck do we know you're there, dude? We didn't seat you!

Happened All. The. Time.

Or there were the dipweeds who insisted on sitting in the bar area though they first requested non-smoking and I told them that area was not. Then they waited until they'd finished their entire meals plus a couple of beers before complaining to the manager to get him to comp their meals because they were seated in smoking when they'd requested non.

Yeah, I love when people get snotty because they failed to game the system.

OMG, this is so my friend. He also doesn't understand why no one wants to hear his tales of woe about being prevented from gaming the system, nor why those of us who don't game the system often get better results.

It's so embarrassing when it's your friend.

We had a friend who would do this all the time. She once went so far as to fuck up her signature on a bill so she could claim fraud and get the money back from the credit card company later.

And I can understand if you truly have a problem with your food or whatever making a big stink about it, but she *constantly* demanded to be comped or something because the food didn't meet her standards, or the drinks were late or any excuse whatsoever.

Irony? She was a waitress. You'd think she'd know better.

Of course, she just used that as something to establish her cred. "I'm a waitress, so I know what I'm talking about."

As I recall, she was a horrible waitress and constantly bitched about getting shorted on the tip. That, I would say to her, is karma.

My freshman-year roomate did stuff like that. She'd call someone long distance, and if she got their answering machine, she'd call the phone company operator, explain that she'd dialed a wrong long distance number by accident, and ask for a credit.

Babe, I *totally* thought of that whole thing! Bwahahaha!

And they're always so damned *proud* of themselves when they cheat their way to something. "Look at me! I weasled my way out of a $2 charge by being a jerk and giving some poor working stiff grief!"