And have you heard of a PEBCAK error? I don't recall where this one started but it's the IT professional's last resort after they've tried everything. "I'm sorry but I just don't think I can help you- it looks like this is a PEBCAK error." It stands for Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.

I've heard of that, yes. From ND, I think.

Also "you've got an ID10T error, there."

Are you having a PHB section? I once worked for a lady who (when we were hurting for staff) called the "Bereaved Parents Association" to ask if any of their kids needed jobs. She thought Bereaved was a place.

PHB?

Pointy Haired Boss (Dilbert reference.)

Ah ... food service revenge.

A friend of mine once worked at a restaurant where the wait staff was treated like crap. The boss/manager was playing games with their pay and tips so they always ended up getting shorted a little - not enough that they could take legal action, but enough to sting. And he treated them badly in general. So ... one night, in the middle of the dinner rush, one of the wait staff rang a bell/tapped on a glass/whatever and announced that the entire wait staff was quitting. En masse. At once. And they all walked out.

Customer services hell:

Customers who think the phrase "That is not acceptable" is the key to getting what they want. "I'm sorry, sir, we don't support you trying to remotely program the computers on the space station from your Commodore 64. You need to have at least Windows XP." "That is not acceptable."

One wants to yell "I canna change the laws of physics!" but I'm sure they'd say "That is not acceptable."

(Actually, it's more often, "Hi, we cobbled together a system that goes against your stated recommendations, and our entire corporate structure is based on that system, and now we need to upgrade to your newest program but we want to keep our cobbled-together configuration." "I'm sorry, we don't support that configuration, and if you try to upgrade to the new program, it will crash your entire computer system." "But we want it this way. Make it work. Oh, and you're right, it did crash our system when we tried to do the standard upgrade, help us fix that, OK? We need our non-supported configuration back. Oh, and the person who actually did the configuration left the company two years ago."

I worked at a microbrewery here in Uptown. Uptown=snotty, entitled clientele. So, we're really busy one night, wait time is about an hour and a half, and a guy grabs me by the arm and yanks me to the podium and asks if I can't give him a table that has been vacated no more than 5 seconds before.

Luckily for me, NSM for him, a good hostess is adored by the waitstaff. My friend, waiter Rob, would take dude's drink order, disappear, then reappear with the drinks after the guy had gone up to the bar, waited in line and gotten his own damn beer.

There are few phrases that will set my teeth a-grindin' like "That is not acceptable".

I actually got yelled at by a supervisor because someone used that phrase on me and, before I could stop myself I snapped out "You'll learn."

I actaully did have to pull out that phrase with the bank, but in my defense, they were trying to give me $75 when their screw up cost me around $500. So it was totally not acceptable.