Oww, Raq, that's just oww. I was thinking it was going to be about Mallory until you used "she." I'ma sit here and sniffle a little.

Raq, whoa. Disturbing.

Raq, that was disturbing. Very well done, but brrrr.

So, I have a question about writing and insecurity? What do you do when you start feeling that you've been deluding yourself all these years, and that you're NOT in any way a good writer? I know part of the reason I'm suffering a sudden attack of What am I doing? I can't write! is because I'm working on something different from what I usually write. But knowing that doesn't change the worry.

What do you do when you start feeling that you've been deluding yourself all these years, and that you're NOT in any way a good writer?

You post here so that I can type the words, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?"

Jilli, I am in awe of your writing talent. I've only had the opportunity to read your website and your posted drabbles, but I couldn't possibly count the number of times I've rec'd your site and babbled about your drabbles. Especially the Picture Me drabbles. Simply wonderful imagination and skill. Squash the doubt.

Jilli, I *still* feel that way every other week or so. Especially if I'm trying something new or out of my comfort zone. The fact that you already know that is good -- but banishing the worry can be tough.

One of the best ways for me to do it is to let something sit for a while. Get some distance from it, even if it's just a day or two. Whe you go back it's much easier to see trouble spots *and* to be more objective about what you did right.

You post here so that I can type the words, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?"

Jilli, I am in awe of your writing talent.

Nicole, thank you. (I'm marking your post so I can go re-read it!)

I think my big problem is I'm not sure if I can write dialog. The GCS columns (obviously) don't have any, and I don't think any of the drabbles I've written have dialog.

Jilli, I just sent feedback. Also, your dialogue is fine! The girls' voices are very natural, which is the most important thing.

If you ever figure it out, Jilli, please let me know.

Is it hard for you to internalize other talents? I need a pretty constant supply of reassurance, because I have to lean on other people's beliefs, unable to produce any of my own. It's like slathering on sunscreen to go outside for a walk and enjoy the day...my body doesn't have melanin, my soul has no confidence. So I apply both sunscreen and compliments generously so I can get through it.

I have a general idea that this is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that I should appreciate every second of it, but I have a difficult time connecting the thing I made to a feeling of specialness that goes with being picked out of a crowd as One Who Has Talent.

Where is the disconnect with you? I've never been able to resolve the feeling of being inadequate with the proof that I'm not. Is that where it is for you?

Allyson, I think a part of what I'm dealing with is the sort of disconnect you're talking about. But mostly, I think it's that I'm worried that I've been insanely lucky to "get away" with what I have done so far, and that if I really start applying myself to things, it'll become apparent that I'm a fake. No, I don't know where this notion of my being a fake comes from. But I am waiting for the proverbial They to appear and say "What are you doing? You're not a Real Writer, you're a bad imposter. Go pretend to be something else before we tell everyone how dreadful you are."

Hmmm. Maybe that's more like the disconnect you're talking about than I realized.

Ha! You have Imposter Syndrome, too! Come sit by me. I've named my Syndrome Mabel. I figure I'll make her a pet.