Jilli, I just sent feedback. Also, your dialogue is fine! The girls' voices are very natural, which is the most important thing.

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If you ever figure it out, Jilli, please let me know.

Is it hard for you to internalize other talents? I need a pretty constant supply of reassurance, because I have to lean on other people's beliefs, unable to produce any of my own. It's like slathering on sunscreen to go outside for a walk and enjoy the day...my body doesn't have melanin, my soul has no confidence. So I apply both sunscreen and compliments generously so I can get through it.

I have a general idea that this is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that I should appreciate every second of it, but I have a difficult time connecting the thing I made to a feeling of specialness that goes with being picked out of a crowd as One Who Has Talent.

Where is the disconnect with you? I've never been able to resolve the feeling of being inadequate with the proof that I'm not. Is that where it is for you?

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Allyson, I think a part of what I'm dealing with is the sort of disconnect you're talking about. But mostly, I think it's that I'm worried that I've been insanely lucky to "get away" with what I have done so far, and that if I really start applying myself to things, it'll become apparent that I'm a fake. No, I don't know where this notion of my being a fake comes from. But I am waiting for the proverbial They to appear and say "What are you doing? You're not a Real Writer, you're a bad imposter. Go pretend to be something else before we tell everyone how dreadful you are."

Hmmm. Maybe that's more like the disconnect you're talking about than I realized.

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Ha! You have Imposter Syndrome, too! Come sit by me. I've named my Syndrome Mabel. I figure I'll make her a pet.

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I think it's that I'm worried that I've been insanely lucky to "get away" with what I have done so far, and that if I really start applying myself to things, it'll become apparent that I'm a fake.

Oh dear, yes. Jilli, I'm getting that from stupid NaNoWriMo. You have an agent (and a publisher, yes?).

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(adding to the Amen Chorus)

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Ha! You have Imposter Syndrome, too! Come sit by me. I've named my Syndrome Mabel. I figure I'll make her a pet.

Oooh, that's a good plan. I think I'll name my Syndrome Edgar.

You have an agent (and a publisher, yes?).

Agent, no publisher.

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Okay, but that's her job. I'm sorry I mentioned it. In my head, your book is already sold. That's how good you are.

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It's like slathering on sunscreen to go outside for a walk and enjoy the day...my body doesn't have melanin, my soul has no confidence. So I apply both sunscreen and compliments generously so I can get through it.

See, this is a brilliant piece of writing right here.

Jilli, I don't know. I suspect, however, that the best writers (and even good writers) always question this, while the really crap writers always assume they are great.

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Challenge #132 (things that go bump in the night) is now closed.

Challenge #133 is light bulbs.

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