Allyson, I think a part of what I'm dealing with is the sort of disconnect you're talking about. But mostly, I think it's that I'm worried that I've been insanely lucky to "get away" with what I have done so far, and that if I really start applying myself to things, it'll become apparent that I'm a fake. No, I don't know where this notion of my being a fake comes from. But I am waiting for the proverbial They to appear and say
"What are you doing? You're not a Real Writer, you're a bad imposter. Go pretend to be something else before we tell everyone how dreadful you are."
Hmmm. Maybe that's more like the disconnect you're talking about than I realized.
Ha! You have Imposter Syndrome, too! Come sit by me. I've named my Syndrome Mabel. I figure I'll make her a pet.
I think it's that I'm worried that I've been insanely lucky to "get away" with what I have done so far, and that if I really start applying myself to things, it'll become apparent that I'm a fake.
Oh dear, yes. Jilli, I'm getting that from stupid NaNoWriMo. You have an agent (and a publisher, yes?).
(adding to the Amen Chorus)
Ha! You have Imposter Syndrome, too! Come sit by me. I've named my Syndrome Mabel. I figure I'll make her a pet.
Oooh, that's a good plan. I think I'll name my Syndrome Edgar.
You have an agent (and a publisher, yes?).
Agent, no publisher.
Okay, but that's her job. I'm sorry I mentioned it. In my head, your book is already sold. That's how good you are.
It's like slathering on sunscreen to go outside for a walk and enjoy the day...my body doesn't have melanin, my soul has no confidence. So I apply both sunscreen and compliments generously so I can get through it.
See, this is a brilliant piece of writing right here.
Jilli, I don't know. I suspect, however, that the best writers (and even good writers) always question this, while the really crap writers always assume they are great.
Challenge #132 (things that go bump in the night) is now closed.
Challenge #133 is light bulbs.
Just as an exercise in taking a break from self-doubt, it'd be interesting to read what other people really like about their own writing.
Just as an exercise in taking a break from self-doubt, it'd be interesting to read what other people really like about their own writing.
I spent Saturday at an all-day workshop with Barbara Samuel, and she talked a lot about voice -- owning your own, discovering your own, etc. One of the things she emphasized was being able to own what you're good at.
And yet, I don't want to be the first one to do this, even though I love the idea. I don't know if that's a woman thing -- sounding "braggy" or too proud -- or if it circles right back to the Imposter Syndrome.
