No, no - I got hijacked into AIM with Laura Anne Gilman. We're talking about books and piano players and furniture.

Brain is focus over there.

But this is a first draft, yes? You need to spellcheck it.

And it's vivid, also passionate - but I'm only getting the edges of what it's actually about. Personal with metaphors, or is it referencing an existing story?

Yes. Very first. Written last week, looked at little until today.

Personal, with some things explicit, that were personally implicit. I'm sure I'll have to cut a little deeper to get it where I want it, but I'm poking to see where it hurts.

As I say, it's very vivid - but my own feeling is that it's still very oblique.

Which is fine, if you're writing it strictly for you. As a member of the readin audience, though, the oblique can be a bit of a barrier.

No you're right. Again, still having trouble with the naming of things.

Yep. The question of obliqueness becomes the limit on ithe piece's accessibility to the reader.

Aw jeez, I sound like a frickin' writing instructor, or something.

I swear, I am NOT trying to sound pompous....

No, I appreciate it. And edited back up top to be more explicit.

Oh, hell yes. Waaaaaay more of a doorway into that, and way less timid. A lot of the obscuring film is off.

Typo:

forked-tounged

Please to fix.

Thank you ma'am.

Aw, shucks. Cause I just finished an episode of The Wire, which I love deeply for something that tells me I can't write for shit every week. "Hey, rookie. Gimme quarter."

which I love deeply for something that tells me I can't write for shit every week.

Again. Devoured the thread in a week. I beg to differ, and I have proof.