'Touched'
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Guess how much of that confidence is left right now while I'm waiting for the verdict.
Oh fine, then. You can have the insecurity about fact-checking. The insecurities about, oh, being able to put together a coherent and entertaining sentence? All with me right now.
A quick beta/advice on a sentence, please?
Goths don’t all think they’re vampires, they’re not all depressed and suicidal, and if Goths are in a cult, than so is every single fan of an organized sport.
I think that does what I want it to, but I can't really tell at the moment.
Piffle. Your insecurities are false, as I just understood everything you posted, Jilli, even though it makes no sense whatsoever.
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo.
Your "than" should be "then."
If you're worried about clarity, you could change the serial commas to semicolons. Might help.
Goths don’t all think they’re vampires, they’re not all depressed and suicidal, and if Goths are in a cult, than so is every single fan of an organized sport.
You mean "then" instead of "than". I might either end the first sentence after vampires, or put a semi-colon in place of the comma after vampires, but punctuation is not my gift. As a statement/explanation, I like it just fine.
xposty goodness.
Splendid. Thank you!
Yep. And in point of fact, I'd suggest changing that last bit to lose then "then" entirely. Something like:
Goths don’t all think they’re vampires, they’re not all depressed and suicidal, and if Goths are in a cult? So is every single fan of an organized sport.
ION, I just got off the three-way conference with Daymond and Kate. And I believe it's safe, at this point, to say
Let. the. games. muthafuckin'. BEGIN!
Deb, that's wonderful news!
Semicolon after vampires and suicidal, since each of those phrases could be sentence on its own.
I have never seen any writing from Allyson or Jilli that was less than wonderful. You've done a huge amount of research on your book, Typo Boy, and I'm sure everything's fine. It's great you're getting so much interest so soon.
I, however, suck.
Do not.
Also, Woo! to Deb. Courage to Jilli. Fortitude to Gar. The Wizard can give me the brain.