Oz ,'Chosen'
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Well, a longish bit. First chapter, up to 30 pages. It was 26 before I started this editing pass, and since this is mostly just a tweak, it'll stay in that ballpark.
And the current version of that sentence is now very close to Ginger's suggestion. But as for keeping Anna front and center, she is, of course, but the screamer is something of a driving factor in this chapter, so we get to know her pretty well, too.
Oh, good - so the screamer works in early? Cool.
I always hesitate to offer suggestions without knowing what happens just before or just beyond.
[link] (the picture of the woman washing at teh stream)
The camera, remarkably intact, was found in some nearby bushes, apparently thrown by the man just before he was clubbed to death. When they developed the plate, the male detectives nodded to themselves.
"She looks like a troublemaker. He must have interrupted her while she was doing something nefarious."
The cleaning women later passed the picture amongst themselves.
"He interrupted her while she was trying to get her work done. He got what he deserved."
Heh. Nice one.
Sail, I love your "mama please" drabble, and connie, hah! I'm really loving all the drabbles. This week's topic has been a resounding success as a writing prompt. A sheaf of tulips, a decent bottle of wine and the fancy chocolate to Teppy in gratitude!
Everytime I start to post a comment, someone has written another drabble I think I should comment on. I'm overwhelmed by the excess of riches.
If anyone's interested, a couple of Buffy fanfic authors have started there own e-publishing website, Linden Bay Romance, for romantic novels. The page for submissions can be found here.
OK, I need a reason for a smart character not to pay attention to a trap besides walking into it being hella climactic for me, God The Author.
Massive psychological blindspot? Overthinking X plot development so that he stumbles in to Y? Actual physical stumbling? being betrayed/lied to?
Or my favorite, knowing a trap is a trap and springing it to learn more about one's enemy.
She's feeling bad, too. Like saying the wrong thing got somebody killed.