Going back to the dialogue thing. If you read a novel like "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller, you read quotes in a more realistic "voice" than is ordinary in fiction.
The context of the quotes, in that case, is left entirely up to the reader.
Here is my present -- malleable -- theory about quotes. If you are confident that the reader is firmly in the scene -- "hearing" the dialogue -- unleash the quotes. If, however, the speaker is serving as a pseudo-narrator, back off and build the scene more clearly.
The In Crowd
He speaks in a voice loud enough for the whole world to hear, but I listen for what he is saying only to me. I laugh at him, semaphoring to me in secret shorthand and in jokes. I do not look up, even though I can feel his gaze on me. He doesn't need me to.
The next time he looks at me from across the room I meet his eyes. We lock there for a moment, pausing to fall for each other again.
I do not know how we look to those around us. I have forgotten to care.
Huh. Interesting. I guess I should have seen it that way from the fact that you indicated it was autobiographical ("...I'ma bleed a little myself.") and the harshness of the last line, but it came across to me as gender neutral, and more along the lines of "Stop apologizing for doing well, it's more annoying than being outscored," or even "You're just saying that to rub salt in the wound, aren't you?"
Interesting that you look for something to mitigate the harshness. Do you think that comes from a gender neutral viewpoint?
I challenge gender-neutral viewpoint. No human may write so, without lies.
Sail, I would have thought the last line was to stop the excuses, not the knowing-things, if not for your intro. Ouch.
I challenge gender-neutral viewpoint. No human may write so, without lies.
Just so. FWIW, I've never met a man yet who apologized for knowing more than the people around him. But I've met a lot of women who do it constantly, including myself. It was one of the reasons I didn't feel I needed to state gender specifically in the drabble.
Sail, I would have thought the last line was to stop the excuses, not the knowing-things, if not for your intro. Ouch.
Well, in 100 words I try to get stuff across. I can see that this one was definitely in the "iffy" category. Still, I'm happy that a number of people got it and that it provoked some discussion. Gender roles can be tricky things and everyone has their own take on what those roles are. In all, I'm happy with the way this one turned out.
Well, in 100 words I try to get stuff across. I can see that this one was definitely in the "iffy" category.
If anything, it makes me feel kind of naive and/or pollyanna-ish.
Phbhtbthtbpt, right back.
deb, of course you may tag that, but it's as much Anne's as it is mine.
After all, she's the one with the viburnum meatball.
(Viburnum Meatball - band name)
I think my own experiences helped me to understand Sail's drabble. I've never once apologized for being smarter or knowing more than someone else, but I've been socially excluded (by both women and men) for it. The one part of the drabble's intent that didn't come across to me was the duration; it seemed like the guy's frustration occured after only about 10 minutes ever of trivia game, not repeated assaults.
