That's wonderful, ita.
Is this a typo:
Would you know me when I came?
I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services!
Willow ,'Showtime'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Lee - Apr 13, 2006 2:10:43 pm PDT #6090 of 10001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
§ ita § - Apr 13, 2006 2:13:23 pm PDT #6091 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Thanks, Perkins.
Is this a typo:
Would you know me when I came?
I don't get it--what's wrong with it?
Lee - Apr 13, 2006 2:27:45 pm PDT #6092 of 10001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
Not wrong, just an unusual use of tenses.
I like it, either way.
Amy - Apr 13, 2006 2:31:56 pm PDT #6093 of 10001
Because books.
Not wrong, just an unusual use of tenses.
Came/went and all that can be confusing to me, but I always substitute another past tense -- Would you know me when I walked in? -- and it seems to work. If she'd started out with *will* it would be another story, I think.
Well done, ita. You are drabblicious today.
§ ita § - Apr 13, 2006 2:39:27 pm PDT #6094 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
When all else fails, claim the subjunctive and then flee back to the sciences.
Well done, ita.
Thanks!
You are drabblicious today.
Something exploded in my brain.
SailAweigh - Apr 13, 2006 2:57:07 pm PDT #6095 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Turns out I did have something to say. Huh.
Nothing Changes
When I was six my mother heard it all the time, “she looks just like you.” The eyes, the nose, the shape of the face etched in miniature.
When I was fourteen, they tipped my chin, “you look just like your mother.” I permed my hair so it curled like hers, I got contacts so people could see my eyes. I hated hearing that I looked like my mother.
At 48 the refrain hasn’t changed, though my hair is straight, my eyes crouch behind glass, only the echo of my mother left. It comforts me. But, does anybody know me?
Liese S. - Apr 13, 2006 4:40:46 pm PDT #6096 of 10001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
These are all wonderful and amazing. What a topic! I continually marvel at the level of artistry and talent in this bunch. I learn so much from being a part of this community.
And, damn, ita. Just damn. Tears to the eye.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 13, 2006 5:20:58 pm PDT #6097 of 10001
What is even happening?
ita, that's gorgeous.
Is this a typo:
Would you know me when I came?
I don't get it--what's wrong with it?
I wasn't sure of that line, either. Is he trying to ask...
1) If the person/people would have known him (back then)
or
2) If the person/people would know him, if he were to come now
If it's the first, I think "Would you have known me when I came?" works.
If it's the second, I think "Would you know me were I to come?" might work.
If it's something else, never mind.
§ ita § - Apr 13, 2006 5:27:57 pm PDT #6098 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
It's more like "Once I have come (my coming is now past tense) would you know me?"
There's you now, then in the future I come, and then at some point past that, would you know me?
Weird, but that turn of phrase says all that to me.
Not proper English?
Amy - Apr 13, 2006 5:52:21 pm PDT #6099 of 10001
Because books.
I do grammar by ear mostly (says the woman who often copyedits and actually gets paid for it -- little do they know). I got it first time around, but that could just be me.
Is drabblicious missing a letter, ita? Or did I make your head 'splodey for another reason?