Allyson, have you thought about giving stuff to Joyce to read? She's not nearly as fannish as Graham is.

Hey, Allyson. That's fantastic. Of course we'd rather not have a rejection letter, but as everyone else said, a good letter with some important information.

Anyway, I checked with my decidedly-not-in-fandom SO and he says he would be willing to read for you. Let him know what sort of feedback you want, specifically, but he would probably be able to give you some outsider input.

Sure. Profile addie?

This was for picture 9 If I had known my father and I wouldn’t be going to the beach again, I tell myself now, I would have had a better time, not complained as the sand itched me or kept the t-shirt on over the bikini I’d begged for but didn’t have the guts to wear proudly. But of course, if I’d known then what I know now, I’d have known his weird silence was his planning for another life, without my mother and me. But that’s how life is. You always think you have plenty of time.

OK. Deep breath.

I HATE GRAMMAR NAZIS.

I've just spent the last fucking HOUR readind a series of teeny weeny little post-it notes. This is layout kid with delusions of copy-editorhood.

Every single fucking comma this dumbass wants to change to a semi-colon, or remove entirely, or whatever? Gets a mention of the OED. No, pardon me. The SHORTER OED.

Dear kid, FUCK YOU AND SHUT UP. You are not a copy-editor; I do not care about the Shorter OED, to which I do not refer when crafting dialogue, because guess what, numb-nuts, people talking informally do NOT sound like dictionaries; and I do not appreciate having to spend three hours typing out "Page 116, 3, 6: NOT MY PURVIEW" because you're mixing layout questions with grammar notations.

IOW? Fuck off and die.

Fucking punctuation gestapo dickweed. I don't believe I have to waste my time on this. So far, in 63 tiny little post-it notes? I've found five actual things that needed addressing.

Assholes.

GAH.

headdesk

Man, did he pick the wrong person to nitpick. I assume you're going to speak to someone about this?

I've already vented at warp eleven at poor Toni Plummer, Ruth's assistant.

He's correcting me on the spelling of "bate", as in "the hawk bated, then resettled." He includes an entire teeny tiny carefully written note from the shorter OED, with all the splendid and varied meanings of "bait". Problem is, "bate" is the UK spellling for the term meaning "to flap wings suddenly and wildly". It's a goddamned falconry term.

Over a hundred of these fucking things.

The damned thing goes to final layout Monday. There's no time.

I am going to kill these people. And St. Martin's? It's a damned good thing the WIP isn't slated to be sent their way because I have enough of this.

Bloody gestapo. And don't throw Godwin's Law at me. I said grammar gestapo and that is precisely what I mean.

"would pluperfect or subjunctive be more appropriate use in proper context of syntax here?"

I want to watch the little idiot die right now.

No Buffista jury would convict you. Some folks just need killing, you know.

Did I mention his other cutesiepoo trick? He has post-its folded over the edge of the page, with the note part on the back of the page, and he hasn't marked anything on the front.

So if he writes "para 4, line 6", I have to go and count. No pencil markings.

Die, die, DIE.

Dumbass. No, wait... Is that dumb-ass, or dumb ass? Ask him.