BAD WRITING DRABBLE...revised to make it even worse, thanks to Deb!
Her heart was heavy. Too long, she had yearned for his touch. Too long, he had eluded her soft, white grasp. He was the pinnacle of her every sweetest fantasy--his strong chin, his rugged features, his penetrating blue eyes. O, to be his truest love! O, to feel those manly hands run across her skin! But she knew it was all for naught--he was beyond any simple girl's reach. He was a bright star in her heavens--a fiery orb she knew would only burn her if she let it. Yet, like a helpless bug irresistably drawn to the tempting light of the zapper, she was pulled to him.
No one could have asked for a better birthday present than these awesomely bad drabbles. The Right Hon. Roderick Shaftleigh-Greatgirth (repeated because it deserves to be written out again) woke up the cat!
I don't know if I can match some of this (o! the porn!), but I'm gonna think about it, see if I can remember some terrible fiction from my youth (lo these many years ago...)
(giggling insanely)
I'm surprised connie's not in here playing, damn it.
I'm surprised connie's not in here playing, damn it.
The topic doesn't appeal. I can wait.
deb-- at one point "inspired" by one or two YA romances I started writing a romance about a high school band. I think I was still in middle school so didn't even have any first hand experience with high school and I knew next to nothing about music. I probably had 10 cassettes and albums (total) -- the ones I can remember were: Bon Jovi, a-ha, Olivia Newton-John, the Beach Boys and the soundtrack to Stand By Me.
It was terrible with pages and pages devoted to the characters clothes, they changed more than Cher during a concert and half way through I changed everyone's names.
That I destroyed.
I'm not quite sure how you tell bad Hemingway takeoffs from Hemingway, but here goes:
At 5 o'clock I was in my kitchen waiting for Joe. I was making drinks. They weren't very good drinks, but I was hoping the amount of vodka would help them.
Joe came in. He needed a shave.
"What is this?"
"Salad spinner."
"Bill had one of those."
"Yes. He had one."
"Did you see Sue? She's hot."
"Yes. Hot."
"It's hot in here."
"Yes. Hot."
"We should go. For Mexican."
"Yes. Hot."
"You like to eat, don't you?"
"I like a lot of things."
"Then let's go for Mexican."
"Sue was hot, wasn't she?"
"Don't be a damned fool."
Hee! And I'm with Ginger on not seeing much difference between bad Hemingway and well, just Hemingway.
sputter
It's the "don't be a damned fool" that just killed me. Oh. My. Fan-tastic.
