River ,'Trash'
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
I read too darn many of them, too, at 14. By the time I was 17, they made me want to barf. Until I started reading fanfic, I'd forgotten how awful some of those stories could be.
Ohmigod. Diana Palmer. My mom, sister and I were obsessed with her (my sister and I were in our early teens, but Mom? I dunno, she was on a lot of drugs for panic attacks.)
Always a virgin, always the UBERmale, always got married.
And when I hit about 16, I started always throwing her books across the room.
See? That's why I haven't done a bad writing drabble, yet. I have an unfair advantage. *g*
The bad writing here has been splendidly bad. I am so enjoying it, and have needed the laughs.
Oh, my.
Speaking of bad writing....remember that "you can't make this shit up" story about the Russian model turned dom and the murder of her Swiss lover in Geneva?
And I still couldn't make this shit up.
BAD WRITING DRABBLE:
Her heart was heavy. Too long, she had yearned for his touch. Too long, he had eluded her soft, white grasp. He was the pinnacle of her every sweetest fantasy--his strong chin, his rugged features, his penetrating blue eyes. O, to be his truest love! O, to feel those manly hands run across her skin! But she knew it was all for naught--he was beyond any simple girl's reach. He was a bright star in her heavens--a fiery orb she knew would only burn her if she let it. Yet, like a bug drawn to the tempting light of the zapper, she was pulled to him.
Hee! That's hysterical with the old style poetic O! and the bug zapper simile all in one drabble.
Yet, like a bug drawn to the tempting light of the zapper, she was pulled to him.
You know, you could make this even worse with the addition of just two words:
Yet, like a helpless bug irresistably drawn to the tempting light of the zapper, she was pulled to him.
Ooo! Yes! I was already over my word limit, though, so I was trying to be good. While being bad.
I think maybe on the bad writing issue, it's bumping the word limit up. I mean, my usual normal style of writing relies on a minimum of words used for maximum effect; it's all in how they're used.
So BadWriting 1.01 for me is verbal diaharrea.
BAD WRITING DRABBLE...revised to make it even worse, thanks to Deb!
Her heart was heavy. Too long, she had yearned for his touch. Too long, he had eluded her soft, white grasp. He was the pinnacle of her every sweetest fantasy--his strong chin, his rugged features, his penetrating blue eyes. O, to be his truest love! O, to feel those manly hands run across her skin! But she knew it was all for naught--he was beyond any simple girl's reach. He was a bright star in her heavens--a fiery orb she knew would only burn her if she let it. Yet, like a helpless bug irresistably drawn to the tempting light of the zapper, she was pulled to him.
No one could have asked for a better birthday present than these awesomely bad drabbles. The Right Hon. Roderick Shaftleigh-Greatgirth (repeated because it deserves to be written out again) woke up the cat!
I don't know if I can match some of this (o! the porn!), but I'm gonna think about it, see if I can remember some terrible fiction from my youth (lo these many years ago...)