Ok...I just had to share this with all of the Bitches. It's too priceless for words: [link]

no bridal murdering until you are paid.

But once the check clears I can go ahead? Pretty please?

She's actually questioning my fee because they have a relative who's a wedding coordinator who's going to take care of telling people when to go down the aisle and stuff. Grr. Bridezilla darling, that's the easy part. I get paid for answering your multitudinous questions leading up to the wedding and for giving up in this case an entire day (since they're having the reception at the church and getting there super-early for pictures, I fully expect to be there from 8:45 a.m. till around 8:00 p.m.) to basically be in charge of the building. I get paid to be go-between to everyone from the custodian to the sound equipment specialist to make sure you get what you need for a set-up. I get paid for setting up the church with pretty white hangings and an aisle runner and clearing all the extraneous stuff from the chancel so your pictures won't be cluttered by choir chairs, sound equipment, and the like, and then for putting everything back in its normal state for church the next day. I get paid to vacuum, clean bathrooms, and take out trash. Given that you're having a big wedding plus reception and the church's plumbing is delicate, I may well be paid to unclog a toilet and mop up any mess.

I don't even want to think how low my hourly rate for all this would be. And I'm appalled that she wants a discount just because she's found someone else to signal each bridesmaid when to start walking.

Bridezillacide = bad

Understandable, but bad.

Now that I've killed the thread, I'll bore any hangers on to death. Didja ever look at your favorites list/bookmarks and wonder "What was I thinking?"

I'm going through mine now, and I can't imagine why I bookmarked these sites. It's not even that I don't remember doing it. I have a faint enough memory of seeing the sites at one time or another, but have no frigging clue why I would ever want to see them again.

Oh, I hadn't killed the thread at all.

Susan, you should find a nice way to explain your services to Bridezilla.

vw, Toto is too too cute.

Sometimes that's just what it takes, and it's better to go ahead and blubber and get over and past it. It's nice that you could do it at home, though.

Also, watching BTVS "Wild At Heart" does my tear ducts good.

Susan, if she pushes on the fee reduction, I'd be so tempted to politely tell her that she can pay you no fee, her cousin will surely do a much better job, good luck to you thanks ever so ta.

But I bet you can't do that because the church needs someone as a go between?

Good luck Susan. Sucky people suck and it sure would be nice to do a literal bitch slap every once in a while.

Oh, Susan, that is just craziness. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.

So, yeah, I hope people don't get sick of pet pictures. But, really, I only show the ESPECIALLY cute ones! Really!

cute Toto!

Isn't your fee part of the churches requirements? If it isn't - give her the list of what you do - and ask what parts her relative will be doing....

Susan, you should find a nice way to explain your services to Bridezilla.

I sputtered something on the phone about the things I do, but I was too stunned to be very coherent about it.

But I bet you can't do that because the church needs someone as a go between?

Yeppers. I'm not quite church staff, more of an affiliated freelancer, but I'm the Representative of the Church. Which makes me both a minister of a sort and an enforcer. In the previous weddings I've done, the roles haven't clashed, because the couples have all been gracious about going along with church policy and fully cognizant of the fact they're getting a gorgeous space and good service for bargain fees.

Isn't your fee part of the churches requirements?

Yep. Nothing arbitrary about it.