I"m trying to figure otu if I'm gonna work or stay home once the sprog is sprogged, and that story made both possibilities sound terrifying.

They both are terrifying to me. I have no kids, so I only have suspicions of what would work for me as far as having a family. I would want it all, in the sense that not having a seperate out of the house job would kill me and I would also want to be fairly involved with my kids. I want to sit down with them and watch them think it's soooo cool when they can add the big numbers just as easily as the little ones, but I also want to be good at something else. The only way that would be possible would be for Mr. H to make some compromises too- not that I don't think he would, but I think it requires a whole different way of thinking to make the burden on mothers equal to the burden on fathers.

Why do men never stress over having it all- or at least not to the point we have to write articles about it. Why do they not buy jillions worth of books on how to be the bestest father ever while still running their company. How come they don't have baby showers?

Granted I haven't completely thought through this stuff and could be talking out of my ass, it's just articles fretting over women balancing work and family bug me, because men have been doing it for a while, so why should it be any different for us even if that means they become househusbands (though I think the same effect could be achieved if they were willing to make the same sacrifices when kids were born, or were even expected to).

I'm already on record as an advocate for Good Enough Parenting. I mean, I do read to Emmett a lot (every night he's with me), and I do play with him a lot on the weekends (probably about 4 hours a day?) whether that's going ice skating, or playing handball, or rambling in the park, or just taking him down to the cafe on Haight Street, shooting pool, playing Pac-Man and browsing through the bookstore.

I think kids need attention, but not all of your conscious time. And I certainly don't think they need a bunch of special programs. We're signed up for baseball again this year and that's my one big extracurricular commitment.

Note to self: stay away from learned tomes.

I do, now. I haven't even checked her against the milestones in What to Expect in months, and if I'm not sure about something like managing her transition to self-feeding on normal food, I talk to my neighbor or call the pediatrician.

ION, having a baby in the room while I work at the laptop gives me plenty of opportunity to teach her the meaning of "no," because she really wants to play with the keyboard.

articles fretting over women balancing work and family bug me, because men have been doing it for a while

Have they? Isn't it societally allowed for the father to be "less" of a parent than the mother? And if both parents are "less" at the same time, who picks up the slack?

Answer: This woman named Donna, but she's busy raising my cousin's kids right now, so she's not available to help, say, me.

sounds almost like either a cult of infancy or a one way trip to the funny farm, for mommy

Oh my good god, yes. I'm a snuggly person some of the time, and I love a good hug, yadda yadda kissycakes, but I reach my tactile limit pretty quickly. If I had a kid hanging off me all. day. long. I would go stark screaming mad.

And co-sleeping? The bed isn't big enough for me and Stephen, if you ask me.

Yay, Lilty!

Have you tried Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time?

Love this book.

Are you reading the actual Bible at all, though? If not, try Luke.

Cindy made me choke on a grape.

Julia was a November baby

November babies are the bestest.

ION, having a baby in the room while I work at the laptop gives me plenty of opportunity to teach her the meaning of "no," because she really wants to play with the keyboard.

Hee!

Oh my good god, yes. I'm a snuggly person some of the time, and I love a good hug, yadda yadda kissycakes, but I reach my tactile limit pretty quickly. If I had a kid hanging off me all. day. long. I would go stark screaming mad.

I could cuddle, kiss, sing, read, and take walks all day. What I can't do is play games with them all day. I do play with them. I don't play all day long with them. Plus? I think they need to play without me nitpicking them.

And co-sleeping? The bed isn't big enough for me and Stephen, if you ask me.

Have they? Isn't it societally allowed for the father to be "less" of a parent than the mother? And if both parents are "less" at the same time, who picks up the slack?

That's kinda what I mean though. I'm going to be a little "less" (and I think the quotes are exactly perfect for what I think we're trying to put our fingers on) so Mr. H would have to be a little "more" parent and a little "less" worker. But nobody expects or thinks about that way, just that I would have to be a little "more" of both.

looks at baby in bouncy seat on floor next to her

tickles baby's tummy

goes back to B.org and eBay

Good Enough Prenting scared me, at first. Sometimes, I feel horrible for being irritated that Em chose the last 5 minutes of the movie/show I'm watching to freak out and I can't hear how it ended. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm not helping her develop because she;s in the bouncy seat and we aren't reading (I already read 4 books to her every morning after first feeding and one at night.) or singing or playing. But sometimes, if I don't check an email or price something that I don't need, I get resentful and a resentful mommy is not a good mommy, usually.

t being able to participate in a parenting discussion AS A PARENT is still kinda, "Whoa. WTF??"