I knew women in college who couldn't prepare for sex (i.e. by having birth control around) because that would mean admitting to themselves that they actually planned to have sex
See, I can wrap my head around that, even if I think it's not a good viewpoint to have. But being on the Pill, but refusing to protect yourself from diseases? That makes no sense what so ever and scares me.
I've had good sex and emotionally healthy sex, but those things were not always with the same partner, and damn if I know how I'm going to be able to explain how fraught the whole thing is.
nods head
Fingercots?
A condom for your finger. Seriously. Though it sounds like a little bed for your finger when it gets all tired out from typing.
The idea that America is morally superior and that we need to export our democracy with a gun is rooted in the presumption that Christianity is morally superior.
When I was in college (late 80s) I recall seeing a book that set forth the idea that America was God's chosen nation and was to do His will upon the earth. I was far more conservative then than I am now, and I
still
thought the idea was hella scary and could only lead to very, very bad things.
We had free condoms available everywhere, but I still knew girls who wouldn't have them around because of the "planning" aspect of it. The shame, she is strong.
I didn't consider them 2 separate things until you asked that -- me picking a stranger up and a stranger picking me up are equal in my mind.
And I didn't consider myself disingenous until you said ^that^. Because I got nothing against being picked up by a suitably hot guy who looks like he'll let me go in the morning. Just that *I* would never do the picking.
I'm just an old-fashioned girl in search of a zipless fuck, I guess.
Oh, we had free condoms, etc. available from the Clinic, but you had to walk several blocks for that. The dispenser was right there next to the laundry room.
I read somewhere that condoms are the most commonly shoplifted item at drugstores.
I do think, however, that US culture gives us some seriously mixed messages about sex, to the point that even those of us raised without religion can find ourselves feeling the pressure to remain chaste, and then feeling dirty when we don't.
Then there's the opposite side, which makes it sound like you're some sort of 'loser' if you haven't had sex before age 20.
Plei and Anne are both right. It's all very confusing to navigate, and, yes, brain-breaky.
From reading LiveJournal, it seems like teenagers now have less pressure to be "pure" than we had 10 or 15 years ago. The good of that is, they don't seem to be crazy guilty about being sexual/masturbating/having desire. The bad is, it seems to all be sex sex sex, and there seem to be a lot of people who (yes) aren't emotionally ready for what they're doing, and don't enjoy it, but are still haviing sex because it's expected. And then there's the added factor of "abstinence-only" sex ed, which doesn't help.
Just that *I* would never do the picking.
Oh, see, for me the issue isn't who does the picking; it's the sex-with-a-stranger aspect of it, which skeeves on so many levels other than the obvious axe-murderer one.
