Passion and Purity was second only to the bible itself as our Guide To How We Should Live.

Which is how? Lemme guess - the Passion is for Jesus; everyone else gets the Purity?

My oldest sister was big into the Campus Crusade, but I think now it was more a way to have a social life that Mother approved of. Sharon had to suffer through a lot of Mother's insecurities about this child-rearing thing. The next older sister, Linda, tried for a more conventional social life of hanging out and guys and learned the error of her ways. By the time it got to be my turn, I was so used to flying under the radar that Mother was forced to read my mail to find out what I was doing.

You and me both, baby. Passion and Purity was second only to the bible itself as our Guide To How We Should Live.

I'm sad. I just went over to Amazon to see if it's still in print (it is, but with a different cover). So I read through the reviews and upped the "found this review helpful" scores for all the naysayers who said things like, "P&P isn't actually part of the Bible, you know," or, "This one woman's experience isn't the Only Right Way, and her whole woman=recipient, man=initiator thing isn't exactly a biblical absolute--Hello? Ruth and Boaz, anyone?"

Passion and Purity was second only to the bible itself as our Guide To How We Should Live.

Which is how? Lemme guess - the Passion is for Jesus; everyone else gets the Purity?

I can't remember specifics, but that's the gist of it. And so the girls in my church were VERY into their mega-chastity, even when they were engaged. For instance, one girl told me, after she was married, that she and her husband had a lot of guilt to work through around their sin issue of him touching her breast before they were married. Like, it caused marital problems until they worked through the (and I quote) violation.

It occurs to me now that maybe their problems actually came from their CRAXY.

Which is how? Lemme guess - the Passion is for Jesus; everyone else gets the Purity?

More that if you keep yourself pure, the passion you'll eventually find is that much better. Unless God is calling you to celibacy. And if he is, you should be grateful, dammit, because all God's gifts are wonderful and just right. And all her teaching is framed by the story of her and her first husband's courtship. He was killed only a few years after they married--they were missionaries in Ecuador, and he and several other men decided, IIRC by going around the backs of both the local authorities and the churches that had sent them, that they were going to try to make contact with a notoriously hostile and isolated tribe. Who killed them.

When I was 19 I thought this was the most romantic thing EVER. Long courtship, restrained passion, followed by tragically brief True Love cut short by martyrdom, leaving the noble widow with her baby daughter. All of us girls wanted a Jim Elliott of our very own, preferably without the early death, but even that had a certain romance....

Huh. That's a... strange world.

And then the really sad thing was how completely black-and-white they were about Teh Sex. The girls were very very good at convincing anyone who had had sex in the past that it could not possibly have been anything but damaging and destructive, since it wasn't in a Christian marriage.

And, you know, people do get into damaging situations all the time, but not all non-Christian-marriage-related sex is damaging. PLUS, people who are married do pretty damaging stuff to each other also.

CRAXY.

When I was 19 I thought this was the most romantic thing EVER. Long courtship, restrained passion, followed by tragically brief True Love cut short by martyrdom, leaving the noble widow with her baby daughter. All of us girls wanted a Jim Elliott of our very own, preferably without the early death, but even that had a certain romance....

Heh. Us, too. Anything less was Selfish And Ungodly And Unbefitting A Christian Woman And What Will You Say When You Stand Before The LORD On Judgement Day?

When I was ten, I would have been very impressed by that. But then, I was thirteen and watched Bruce Springsteen videos. Oops. Maybe that is what I'll say to God. "Oops!" (Although, honestly, my God is probably more disturbed by the numbers of times I wish harm on others.)

The girls were very very good at convincing anyone who had had sex in the past that it could not possibly have been anything but damaging and destructive, since it wasn't in a Christian marriage.

Actually (and they've done some studies relating to this), telling people over and over again that things they have done were damaging and destructive is damaging and destructive.

CRAXY.

Love this spelling.

And, you know, people do get into damaging situations all the time, but not all non-Christian-marriage-related sex is damaging.

Also, to be frank and blunt and honest and shit, I've found that experience with more than one partner really improves the quality of the action. (It's kind of like horseback riding in that respect, though I think explaining that would involve a lot of hand gestures and meditations on different strides and finding the right balance.)